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7th March 2006, 07:17 PM
#11
Moderator
Platinum Hubber
Bingleguy, really emjouable serial story-telling. Nicely packed events, characters, situations. Everything is smoothly suspended waiting to get harmonized. Most importantly your sense of length for each episode makes it eminently readable.
And as you have pointed out, I can see and hear the story comfortably. Great going, keep it up !
மூவா? முதல்வா! இனியெம்மைச் சோரேலே
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7th March 2006 07:17 PM
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8th March 2006, 12:19 PM
#12
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
romba highfundaavaa poyindirukku!!!
déjà vu itself is not an ordinary explainable thing ! You really have to feel it. But i guess i am taking the right path(Serial Screen play) with characters, situations and actions which would make the concept easily understandable...
Bingleguy, really emjouable serial story-telling. Nicely packed events, characters, situations. Everything is smoothly suspended waiting to get harmonized. Most importantly your sense of length for each episode makes it eminently readable.
And as you have pointed out, I can see and hear the story comfortably. Great going, keep it up !
Thanks a TON for your feeling on this story, i rather would name this not a story but a feeling ! Harmony is a challenge here, but guess everybody will be soon entertained with a smooth merging. Ya, i felt, as it s kind of a serial, better to bet it with limited size and situational flow.... Still i am yet to convince many to read it, coz its still regional ... but hopefully i shld be making everyone read it completely without any difficulty !
Watch for Saga 5 today ! Happy Reading
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8th March 2006, 12:31 PM
#13
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
déjà vu ( 5. STAR FIRMED)
STAR FIRMED
Shree, was looking on to her Titan watch, that her father presented for her Bday!She still admires the golden lining inside the watch that reads 16....She gets reminded of that sweet age ....
"My sweet Shree never crosses her teens" boasted Ranga Bhashyam, that made Shree sparkle n she smiled with her chin facing the earth, n spranged !
The time Titan said was making her worry ! It was twenty one minutes past six ! She was waiting for more than seventeen minutes..... Everywhere there used to be a teen for her !
"yennadi bus innum varala?" asked inquisitive Sharmi ....
"Theriyalayae di, yeppavum correct tia thukku vandhuduvaan.....Seri paravaa illai, Lets take 1 route today, noku vera oorukku kilambanum" pleaded Shree... as they boarded the 1 route
"Rendu Sri Rangam" said Shree to the gigantic fellow who stood steps away from her in a Khakhi uniform....
"Chillara kodunga ma? Yellarum rooba note a kodutha, naanga yenna bank a vechirukkom?" yelled the conductor.
"Chillara venumna, adha mattum sollungo, yedhukku neenga paatukku pesinde porel .. ahn".... for obvious reasons, this was Shree yelling at the conductor........
"Hello, yenna, sillara irundha bus la yeru, illa ..." Pheweeeeeeeet "bus a niruthu"
.... "Irangu ma , irangau ... neega varanumnnu bus onnum kaathukittu irukkala, irangu"
"Oho, yenna public kkaga bus otrelaa yenna? unga ishtathukku pesinde porel.... " before Shree could complete this ... Knowing her reactions, Sharmi pulled her ... "Vaadi, irangidulaam ....."
"Iru di, yenna, ivaa vechadhu dhaan sattama.... yenna vidu di..." was Shree's angry tone
When the conductor was about to move forward, Sharmi, pulled Shree n got down the steps.....
When an nearby stander questioned the conductor "yenpa, yedhukku ivvalavu harsh a behave panra" .... "Hello perusu, yenna orrukku poganumaa, illa avanga kooda neeyum irangiriyaa ?" was the conductor's harsh answer ....
By the time the bus moved, Shree was still red in anger....with Sharmi trying to pull her. This was the time when Matinee show had come to an end in the majestic twin theatres that had a celestial dancer's look n name ! Sharmi, could see her usual bus
79, waving thru the crowd.... she pulled Shree and waved at Guru. Seeing them Guru steered the bus to the left screeched n stopped...
"Chinna pongal kaiya kaamcha niruthiduvaalae..hmnf" said a co-passenger...
"Maami, ava daily varavaa" giggled Guru at the lady who used her left shoulder up and moved her head to the left towards to shoulder to make them meet so fast n said "ukkm"
Smiling at them Guru waved them to come to the front, n requested the two men sitting in the ladies seat on to the left, to take a seat behind ! Shree n Sharmi adjusted themselves to the seat, with Guru soft taking the gear to one and slowly moved the vehicle towards the Aringyar statue ....
"Yendi avan kooda sandai poda pona, avan adikka vandhuttan ..." before Sharmi could complete, Guru took over "Yen ma yenna thagaraaru?"
"Guru anna, neengalae sollunga, oru chillara vishayathukkaaga yaaraavadhu sanda poduvaangala" questioned Sharmi
"Yennaga ammini, chillara vishayam nna ? yaarayaavadhu adichiteengala ?" asked guru... "Guru anna, idhu nejamaavae chillara vishyam" Sharmi moved her thumb upwards from under the index finger when all fingers were folded to make a fist .... Money, Money" completed Sharmi...
"Naan avanukku nanna koduthiruppen, nee dhaaan.... izhunthundu vandhutta" sneered Shree
"Podi, koduthiruppaalaam, avan kittendhu kaapaatha vendiyadhaa pochu... yellam Guru vaala dhaan" Sharmi said.... "Naan yennanga panninen" asked perplexed Guru...
"Anh, seekiram vandirukkalaam illa" Sharmi pointed out ... "hahahahhha" giggled Guru
"Women's day adhuvumaa, sandai yellam yedhukku?" asked Sharmi, for shree said "Women's rights ... adhukkaga" said Shree ....
The road was getting mended n a huge Tricson Road Roller was crushing the small pebbles with the hard embrace of the tar. The driver with a hat on, turned off the engine and gave some rest to the roller.... but alas jumped out from the roller, without applying the handbrake.... made the roller slowly move on the slightly slopy road without control...
The bus speeded away, when Shree leaning over the window to glance Raghu, with her eyes firmly caught on Raghu's right hand.....
The roller was speeding towards raghu and alas he fell unto to the ground with the huge nasty wheel ran over his right hand !
"Ammamamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" shouted Shree n opened her eyes to see her woken from the bed, but then she was unable to open them, slowly she fainted .........
"Shree, Shree ... kanna, yennadi aachu .... kanna, inga paaru, yenna paaru"pleaded her father ...
"Yen nna, yenna na aachu kozhandhaikku, Shree, Shree.... inga paaru, aiyyo, yenna nna ... avala pesa sollungolen, yenn nna ,... " yelled her mother with drops instantly in her eyes ...
"Shree, are you alright ? Kanna, inga paaru, appava paaru ... " Bashyam slowly took Shree's left hand and gave a gentle rub .... "Shree... Shree ..... kanna thora ... dho paaru, kanna thora .... Kamalam, jalam yeduthundu vaa, seekaram" ...with Kamalam running towards the kitchen to get a glass of water ....
Kamalam sprinkled the water with force ... when Bashyam got the tumbler from kamalam, n dipped his three fingers in water, n took over to Shree's eyes and gently rubbed it over them ... n sliding his hands on her head, he took her head n slowly placed on his laps said .... "Perumale, Ranga ......Shree, Shree.......Kanna ........"
To be continued ............
Saga 5 : STAR FIRMED is an anagram of FIRST DREAM.
Do u know what you hear from A TELEPHONE GIRL ???? REPEATING "HELLO" This anagram really is a marvellous derivative, depicting what u really experience !
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8th March 2006, 01:08 PM
#14
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
Wow! what superb anagrams!
Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.
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8th March 2006, 02:44 PM
#15
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
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8th March 2006, 03:00 PM
#16
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
Porumai Shakthi, Porumai .... Porumai yerumaiyai vida periyadhu....
Well i can see ur anxiety ! but wat to do ... this is kind of a screen play serial .... so u got to wait for the same time, till the next episode, ie Saga comes ........ See same page, same time, tomorrow for updates !
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8th March 2006, 03:28 PM
#17
Senior Member
Platinum Hubber
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8th March 2006, 05:18 PM
#18
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
Sorry Shakthi ! That was an errata ! I ve corrected it now
Only this place had that mistake, rest all seems fine !
"Mathi : Podhum podhum, (Silently in his ears) Good nose cut !"
am i right ? Thanks for pointing that !
Well as of now there is no connectiving between the first and the rest of Sagas .... u just remember the first one ... in one corner of ur memory ! the continuity is very much visible from then second saga !
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9th March 2006, 12:09 AM
#19
Senior Member
Diamond Hubber
great story but how many sagas r left?
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9th March 2006, 02:52 PM
#20
Senior Member
Veteran Hubber
déjà vu ( 6. A BACK GAIN)
A BACK GAIN
Sathi : take the lift and take left to find the Network cabin... opposite to the ICU on second floor ......
There was silence ....
The receptionist stopped chewing the gum,with her mouth opened... n saw Sathi looking at the Floor Diagram and smiled at both of them
"Ys, you are right...... but currently there is some repairwork goin there, so temporarily we have shifted the center to the
THird floor, near OP Bay" said the receptionist
Sathi smiled.
Mathi is still inquisitive, didnt understand why both of them smiled.
Getting to know that, Sathi smiled n said "Yenna Mathi, puriyalaya.... inga vandhu paarungo ! Do u see that Floor Diagram,
there it shows clearly where is the Patient's Network...."
Mathi gasped but hid his emotions to say "Well, yaaah ...... Thanks lady"
Mathi n Sathi walked down towards the lift, when Sathi noticed Mathi to have his head down n still thinking.
"Injaringo, are you ok ? neengal normala thaane irukireergal ?"
Shooking his head to have reacted to the question, mathi said
"Ahnh ... I m ... Im fine" saying he pressed the lift button.
Sathi is still not convinced with his answers, but kept quiet as he hates nagging ! Both entered the lift, pressed the third floor button and waited for the lift to go up !
They entered the third floor to find a long walk way ...... empty. Their steps were clearly heard echoing thru the walls ,
hearing which, Sathi said " Mella pogalaam, saththam varudhu, we might disturb the patients" for which Mathi responded Ys !
When Mathi n Sathi entered the Patient's Network, they could find ........
"An apple a day ..........." was Dr.Chris Moulin's shrilling voice
"Keeps the Doc away" was the response completing the sentence by the children from WeareKids orgranization....
"Yessssss" so saying, the doc turned to find Mathi near the door !
"Hello Doctor !" was Dr. Chris Moulin's say to Mathi ..... Mathi, now coming back to normal, greeted him "Evening Doc"
"Are you ok Mathi ? .... well, by the way ! Congratulations on ur marriage !"smiled the doc shaking hands with Mathi.... "Oh u must be his wife "said Dr. Chris seeing at Sathi .....
"Ya" nodded Sathi, with the smile !
"Good to see you ! aw, sorry i didnt get ur name" said the doc.....
"Sathi" said Sathi with a smile still on her face....
"Ummmmmm ! Mathi n Sathi, great combination .... Made for each other, isnt it Doc ? "said Chris looking at Mathi ....
"Ys doctor ..... am sorry, i was totally carried away" said Mathi ....
"No worries Doc, it always happens when u enter a place like this " said the doc winking his eyes at Sathi
"Welcome to Mount Elizabeth Hospital, dear Sathi"
"Meet my associate Akira O'Connor, he s a student doin his Ph.D working with me in creating certain phenomenons in our Lab ...
Your hubby, as a researcher shld be able to explain more to you !"
winked Dr.Chris again at Sathi ......................
Chris witnessed a smile from Mathi n Sathi ..........
Saga 6 : A BACK GAIN is the anagram for BACK AGAIN
Do you know what THEY SEE is wat the THE EYES see ..... This anagram may not work well with sentences, but we really can understand that THE EYES = THEY SEE
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