A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

Thread started by NOV on 24th May 2006 07:58 AM

For pages & pages of jokes, go here:

http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=4723
http://mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=10703

:P

Responses:

• Full Thread

• From: NOV on 17th May 2013 07:33 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  A young man excitedly tells his mother that he has fallen in love and wants to get married. "Just for fun Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one is the woman I'm going to marry."
  
  The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women to the house and seats them on the couch.
  
  He turns to his mother and asks,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
  
  She immediately replies, "The woman in red saree in the middle."
  
  "That's amazing Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
  
  "I don't like her."

  
  

• From: NOV on 20th May 2013 06:23 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
  
  Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.
  
  She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
  
  He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

  
  

• From: NOV on 20th May 2013 07:41 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  On his way out of the local temple, Guna stopped at the door to speak to the priest.
  "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
  
  "Absolutely not!" replied the temple priest.
  
  "In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the thousand dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July."

  
  

• From: NOV on 21st May 2013 07:27 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  "I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend.
  "I gave a poor beggar Rs100."
  
  "That's a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?"
  
  "He said, 'Thank you'. "

  
  

• From: NOV on 21st May 2013 09:44 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
  
  How is she now ?
  
  She's fine. But, the dog died.

  
  

• From: NOV on 22nd May 2013 07:05 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
  
  The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
  
  The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

  
  

• From: NOV on 22nd May 2013 07:57 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  "Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
  
  "Did he get anything." his mates asked.
  
  "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

  
  

• From: NOV on 22nd May 2013 08:39 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  I was chatting with this person who was blabbering all about herself, her hobbies, her likes/dislikes, her pets, her parents, her work, her car, her hairstyle, her make-up and on and on.
  
  Finally she said, "Ok, enough of me."
  
  I breathed a sigh of relief.
  
  And then she said, "Tell me.... what do you like about me."

  
  

• From: NOV on 23rd May 2013 07:32 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  Twenty men die and go to heaven.
  
  When they arrive they are told to seperate into two lines. One for all the husbands that are under their wives control and they other for those that control their wives.
  
  After the men separate, one of the angels notices that there are 19 men in the first line and only one in the second. The angel walks up to the man and asks why he was so sure of his independence.
  
  "That's easy," said the fellow, "My wife told me to stand here!"

  
  

• From: NOV on 23rd May 2013 09:58 AM [Full View]

  
  
  

  An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession:
  
  Man: Father, I am 60 years old. I have been married for 35 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with a 22 year old.
  
  Father: When was the last time you made a confession?
  
  Man: I never have, I am Hindu.
  
  Father: Then why are telling me all this?
  
  Man: I am telling everybody