So what’s your attitude to “dating”? I would genuinely appreciate advice...

Thread started by Bipolar on 16th February 2015 04:22 AM


Okay, I know we’ve discussed this before…

But now I’m looking at it differently.

There’s a number of questions here…

I’m from Tamil Nadu originally. I’m 32. Still single.

Family want me to have an “arranged marriage.”

I’ve lived in the UK for many years now. I’ve met a North Indian woman here. I’m interested in her. We’re in the same line of work. But other than that, I probably don’t have much in common with her. She is good-looking. She’s North Indian, so I think maybe there are some cultural similarities.

I’m considering asking her out.

But… I don’t know if I’m about to waste my time.

If it doesn’t work out – if it turns out that we don’t have a lot in common, then I’ll be going back to the beginning. And it might damage my chances of an arranged marriage (“love failure case”-nnu edhaavadhu solleeduvaangalo-nnu oru bayam; yErkaNavE 32 vayasu aayiduchu… idhula indha thalavali vEra-yaa? prachchanayE vEndaam-nnu oru pakkam thONudhu).

But then again, it’s frustrating to be unable to form a relationship with someone that I actually have feelings for… and it’s frustrating having to wait for someone from a different place, someone that I didn’t actually impress myself…

If it was completely my choice, I would not mind waiting a little longer. I would not mind if I had to go through a few failed relationships to find “the one”. But as someone who lives within Tamil society, I don’t know if I will be hurting myself in the long run by getting into a relationship at this point, at this age. Senior folks here, your opinions here would be genuinely appreciated.

So, is 32 too old to be single (by Tamil social/cultural norms)?

Also, what’s the general view on “dating” in Tamil society these days? Are people more liberal? Or is it heavily frowned upon?

Anyone have similar experiences?

Let me say this again - I'm not asking "is it right or wrong" - I don't believe there is anything "wrong" with deciding one's own personal relationship/life choices. I'm asking - "from the point of view of Tamil social/cultural norms, what is the general view?"

I would genuinely appreciate your advice. What advice would you give if your nephew or your friend’s son was in this situation?



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