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Thread: Respect the elders - What does it really mean?

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    Respect the elders - What does it really mean?

    We have all heard " வயசுக்கு மரியாதை" some time in our life. So, what exactly does this mean? Traditionally, with age comes experience and with experience comes wisdom. So, it is understood that one is respecting the wisdom and not the age. Afterall, one being old is hardly any achievement.

    Many times you might have given up your seat in the bus for an elderly person. I would like to believe that it is an acknowledgement of the infirmity that age brings and nothing more.

    With the advent of the internet, the phenomenal advancement of science & technology, the general advances in availability of knowledge, I believe that the younger generation is far wiser than the older generation, in spite of being, well, younger.

    Who would you respect - an old man, lets say in his seventies or eighties, who likes to argue that whatever he says is absolutely correct, because of his age - as against another, maybe half his age, presenting his side with well documented theories?

    So where does the வயசுக்கு மரியாதை concept go now? Or am I misunderstanding the whole concept?

    Rajan
    Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

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    Senior Member Platinum Hubber pavalamani pragasam's Avatar
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    A very pertinent, meaningful question! Being on the opposite side of the court I feel compelled to face the ball! To me it pertains not merely to 'wisdom' or infirmity! The definition of wisdom can be very flexible! While some 'oldies' do put pressure on their children to 'obey', generally parents are no more autocrats. Within a generation the world has whirled at a faster speed than ever before. While the elders are gasping to understand what exactly is happening around them the youngsters, fortunately, are smart enough to cope with the sweeping strong current, are 'wise' to get adept in the art of survival in the rat race! It is quite true that most of the practical tips the parents can give today are irrelevant or useless in the present circumstances. But there are some basic values in life which the younsters cannot ignore, values which the elders have found to make human life respectable, meaningful and enjoyable. Deeper than the transition of lifestyles from santhais to modern malls, bullock carts to cars and planes, from simple entertainment ideas to resort concepts for relaxation the inner craving for warm relationship/bonding has not changed. Blessed are families which can 'understand'(not necessarily agree) and respect the dreams/compulsions/choices BOTH sides are left with!

    Finally, it is simple plain good manners!!!
    Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

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    There are some very relevant words by Benjamin Franklin’s at the Constitutional Convention onSeptember 17, 1787 at the age of 81:“ … for having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought were right, but found to be otherwise. It is therefore that the older I grow the more apt I am to doubt my own judgement, and to pay more respect to the judgement ofothers. ..."
    If old men are like that there should not me much problem. But I have seen a few who seem to think that since they have survived so long and have been reasonably successful, they know what is right and what works. And young people seem to be reluctant to hurt their feelings. I wonder whether it is more in India than in countries like USA. On some issues, one can consider their advice ( Recently I heard from an old friend that he had Chikungunya and sufferedfrom joint pains and finally on the advice of a friend took some Ayurvedic medicine and the pains vanished with in a week. A friend's mother in Melbourne had the same problem and we got the medicine from Hyderabad and it worked). Probably one has to consider carefully what to take seriously.

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    Senior Member Seasoned Hubber Punnaimaran's Avatar
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    First of all, we have to understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Awareness of something is what we call knowledge. Nowadays we have so many sources to gain knowledge. For example, if you want to know about anything in this universe, all you have to do is sit before a computer and type the words into a search engine and voila the answers are there.

    But wisdom is gained through the experiences, when the acquired knowledge put into everyday use. I may be knowledgeable enough to give a lecture on how to make others feel happy, but not wise enough to keep my wife and children happy.

    So I think we respect one's wisdom and not just their knowledge. And I'm not wise enough to judge whether the elder or the younger generation is wise.

    எப்பொருள் யார் யார் வாய்க் கேட்பினும் .... is my policy.


    But, as PP ma'am says it is good manners to respect elders.
    இந்தக் காட்டில் எந்த மூங்கில் இசைக்க வல்லது என்று மயங்கிய பொழுது
    இறைவன் தேர்ந்தெடுத்தப் புல்லாங்குழல் தான் நம் இசைஞானி !!

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    Excellent thoughts, Punnaimaran

    There's just one more perspective as to why respect the elders - simply out of sheer gratitude.

    The other day, my wife had a phone-call quarrel with her mom and my m-i-l was obviously incorrect -she was talking without facts - and it went on for a while, even got rough.

    However, after the call was over, I asked my wife to cool down a bit and asked her a few questions like - why doesn't she consider the days her mom carried her to the doc, nights she kept awake etc, much like we do for our children

    It worked and she agreed to "accept her mother's craziness"

    I don't think respect is shown by "simply agreeing to all that an old one says" but in many other beneficial ways. Politeness is obviously one, taking care of needs is another. Difference of opinions do not take away respect, IMO

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    Good thoughts. I have no contest with being good mannered and considerate to older people.

    My question is, what if you did not even know this person? What other factors would affect your decision apart from age? I can fully understand what app_engine says here. Even my sister used to say the same about my mother. She always said "I realized what it means to be a mother, when I gave birth to my first child. From that day on, doesn't matter if mother is right or wrong, I am on her side"

    But the concept of வயசுக்கு மரியாதை seems to take different meanings when it comes to older people, who are also strangers. It is very common to hear people say " ஒய் பெருசு, பார்த்து போ. வீட்டுல சொல்லிட்டு வந்தியா?" when some old person is trying to cross the road and gets too close for one's comfort. Would one say the same thing if that person was known? Or if that person appeared to be well educated and well dressed? More often than not, such utterances are aimed at old people who appear to be at a socially lower level.

    Does this mean வயசுக்கு மரியாதை actually means a lot more than just வயசு? Will you refuse to engage a coolie in the railway station, because he is old? After all, he is old, so deserves respect. We wouldn't allow one of our older relatives to carry our luggage, would we?

    Rajan
    Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

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    Senior Member Diamond Hubber PARAMASHIVAN's Avatar
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    Every one should be respected, regardless of age, gender, race etc etc ... including animals.
    Knowledge is some thing which is grasped through your five senses, such sight, hearing, taste and touch.
    When ‘All’ of these five senses are 'not' functioning, you are either dead, in sleep or in a coma.
    Wisdom is a combination of experience and knowledge.
    Mind is a Combination of memory + imagination.
    Every one is unique, every one have different skills, understanding level, wisdom level... these are all based on the knowledge attained through your five senses, your experience. These all depend on the environment you have been bought up in.
    Age plays a factor, as you would have had more time to understand experiment and experience certain attributes of life.
    However wisdom does not come with age, but like I mentioned you have more time as you age to attain wisdom...
    A 30 year old man has more wisdom than a 60 year old, if you look; take 'Thirugnyanasambanthar' and 'Thirunavukarasar'....
    The younger had more wisdom than the elder. Which promotes wisdom and age has nothing to do with each others.
    Om Namaste astu Bhagavan Vishveshvaraya Mahadevaya Triambakaya Tripurantakaya Trikalagni kalaya kalagnirudraya Neelakanthaya Mrutyunjayaya Sarveshvaraya Sadashivaya Shriman Mahadevaya Namah Om Namah Shivaye Om Om Namah Shivaye Om Om Namah Shivaye

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    Good questions, Rajan, reflecting the sad state of lack of consideration for others who are physically not in the shape they once were!

    My comment about gratitude to elderly is not just limited to our parents / grand parents but to all as they have contributed to the things we enjoy today in one way or another (trees, roads, researches that accumulated knowledge etc are simple examples). So most of those who have positively contributed to the society deserve our gratitude.

    (Ofcourse criminals & such negative characters don't deserve such respect simply because they have grey hair).

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    Re: Respect the elders - What does it really mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by PatchyBoy
    Who would you respect - an old man, lets say in his seventies or eighties, who likes to argue that whatever he says is absolutely correct, because of his age - as against another, maybe half his age, presenting his side with well documented theories?

    So where does the வயசுக்கு மரியாதை concept go now? Or am I misunderstanding the whole concept?

    Rajan
    Well, who might RESPECT?

    I am sure, the people who were brought up by the "old man" and people those who had been loved and cared by the old man will respect!

    When they get older and older most of them becoming a "childlike"!

    Do you respect the feelings of a "child" or NOT?

    If you do, WHY?
    This is a very big world!

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    Re: Respect the elders - What does it really mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by thamiz

    Well, who might RESPECT?

    I am sure, the people who were brought up by the "old man" and people those who had been loved and cared by the old man will respect!

    When they get older and older most of them becoming a "childlike"!

    Do you respect the feelings of a "child" or NOT?

    If you do, WHY?
    தமிழ் - agreed to your point of view.

    Rajan
    Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

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