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Thread: Paradigm Scrawl

  1. #21
    Senior Member Platinum Hubber Shakthiprabha.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chevy


    Date : February 14, 2007
    Place: Statistics Lecture at college.
    Title: No clue what to keep the title as ...


    The first waves splash
    Gently against the rocks
    As the day goes
    Harder on the rocks
    Engulfing and enveloping in his strong waves …..
    At noon the sun burns the rocks
    But the water will cool
    And the rocks will await for those warm waves
    Come evening the waves will subside
    The excitement of the day is no more
    For the sea now romances the moon
    At this moment the rocks will sadly await …
    For the morning
    For the sea…
    But yet again, next evening
    The rocks will be alone
    Waiting for the morning
    Waiting for the sea..
    But how long to wait??
    The sea will never stay
    With the rocks forever
    So why wait??
    Just like they always say
    Today’s sorrow is tomorrow happiness…
    Someday, the hard waves,
    Powerful tides would have
    Beaten the rocks to granules
    Grains of fresh sand
    Forming a beautiful beach
    An abode for all love
    All affection and all fun..
    And then will realize the sea
    His waves and tides
    That without the rocks
    He would ne’er be
    The blissful, gentle, beautiful beach
    That they form together , now….






    cheers
    chevy
    ps: i'd like to know what people think about the above poem. What do you think was running in my mind when i scribbled it ?? Lemme see if any1 close to what i had in mind, ... it will enable me to judge my poetic skills .. hehe ...





    hmmm... I did not read ur explanation before.

    So I thought... of

    SHUNNED love...
    IGNORED love (of any relationship)
    one side yearns, otherside cares less..

    SOMEDAY they would realise...by then its too late... nevertheless, it can take a NEW LEAF.

    I guess u had similar explanation

    Chevvy,

    good flow of words, JUST THAT, my feeling (personally ) IS
    make it MORE CRISP. ( less words, MORE IMPACT)

    i may be wrong too

    but I loved ur poem.

    My choice for title would be

    " impressions "

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  3. #22
    Senior Member Platinum Hubber Shakthiprabha.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chevy
    BLATANT PRIDE


    Unaware of the world
    Sat the dumb child
    Whilst others forged ahead
    This one sat and cried
    “But the others are “smart”
    that’s what the teachers told
    Do they have a heart?
    Or has it gone mean and cold?
    Cold, frozen with ignorance
    ‘coz they failed to see
    the giant that lay inside …
    This boy was going to be
    Stronger than the others would ever be
    For this “dumb” child, had a talent within
    Uncovered and modestly it lay within
    Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
    Maybe you wouldn’t call him “dumb” again
    ‘Coz when his dulcet voice echoed
    it soared and danced in your ears
    and rang in your mind
    This voice took him to great fame
    Glory, money and much more
    And the academicians who once branded him “dumb”
    Now applauded and toasted him
    And said,

    “He was my student!”

    Good.

    Perfect Punctuations made it more meaningful ( I felt first poem MIGHT have given nice dimensions wiht lil more punctuations )

    I still maintain that, ur FIRST POEM is still my fav

    Uncovered and modestly it lay within
    Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
    Loved those lines. A sharp whip on academics and academics oriented education we have.

  4. #23
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
    Quote Originally Posted by chevy


    Date : February 14, 2007
    Place: Statistics Lecture at college.
    Title: No clue what to keep the title as ...


    The first waves splash
    Gently against the rocks
    As the day goes
    Harder on the rocks
    Engulfing and enveloping in his strong waves …..
    At noon the sun burns the rocks
    But the water will cool
    And the rocks will await for those warm waves
    Come evening the waves will subside
    The excitement of the day is no more
    For the sea now romances the moon
    At this moment the rocks will sadly await …
    For the morning
    For the sea…
    But yet again, next evening
    The rocks will be alone
    Waiting for the morning
    Waiting for the sea..
    But how long to wait??
    The sea will never stay
    With the rocks forever
    So why wait??
    Just like they always say
    Today’s sorrow is tomorrow happiness…
    Someday, the hard waves,
    Powerful tides would have
    Beaten the rocks to granules
    Grains of fresh sand
    Forming a beautiful beach
    An abode for all love
    All affection and all fun..
    And then will realize the sea
    His waves and tides
    That without the rocks
    He would ne’er be
    The blissful, gentle, beautiful beach
    That they form together , now….






    cheers
    chevy
    ps: i'd like to know what people think about the above poem. What do you think was running in my mind when i scribbled it ?? Lemme see if any1 close to what i had in mind, ... it will enable me to judge my poetic skills .. hehe ...





    hmmm... I did not read ur explanation before.

    So I thought... of

    SHUNNED love...
    IGNORED love (of any relationship)
    one side yearns, otherside cares less..

    SOMEDAY they would realise...by then its too late... nevertheless, it can take a NEW LEAF.

    I guess u had similar explanation

    Chevvy,

    good flow of words, JUST THAT, my feeling (personally ) IS
    make it MORE CRISP. ( less words, MORE IMPACT)

    i may be wrong too

    but I loved ur poem.

    My choice for title would be

    " impressions "
    hmmmm i ll try... this poem flowed out of me during a statistics class...As such i am not really good at poems ya... i ll try doing something to it...
    thank you sooooooo much for ur views

  5. #24
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
    Quote Originally Posted by chevy
    BLATANT PRIDE


    Unaware of the world
    Sat the dumb child
    Whilst others forged ahead
    This one sat and cried
    “But the others are “smart”
    that’s what the teachers told
    Do they have a heart?
    Or has it gone mean and cold?
    Cold, frozen with ignorance
    ‘coz they failed to see
    the giant that lay inside …
    This boy was going to be
    Stronger than the others would ever be
    For this “dumb” child, had a talent within
    Uncovered and modestly it lay within
    Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
    Maybe you wouldn’t call him “dumb” again
    ‘Coz when his dulcet voice echoed
    it soared and danced in your ears
    and rang in your mind
    This voice took him to great fame
    Glory, money and much more
    And the academicians who once branded him “dumb”
    Now applauded and toasted him
    And said,

    “He was my student!”

    Good.

    Perfect Punctuations made it more meaningful ( I felt first poem MIGHT have given nice dimensions wiht lil more punctuations )

    I still maintain that, ur FIRST POEM is still my fav
    thanks !!!!!!!!!!!
    Uncovered and modestly it lay within
    Maybe one couldn’t see it in the report card
    Loved those lines. A sharp whip on academics and academics oriented education we have.
    but it's true isn't it ???

  6. #25
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
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    GOLDEN CAGE


    A lavish dwelling
    With all material pleasures
    A gratifying feast
    Again redundantly profuse
    An enviable wardrobe
    That could clad many for a year
    The best of everything
    The newest too
    Yet it’s just a golden cage
    Which I’m born into

    I flinch when others
    Envy my silver spoon
    For what I have not
    Is a normal life
    With a birthright to laugh in joy
    But merely a mechanical life

    For what I have not
    A soul to share my life with
    Many souls perhaps…
    Understand me for,
    I’d rather have gruel with many
    Than eat cake alone
    So here I am,
    Free to live but not to fly
    Live royally, but cry in this bonded life
    Hope decaying in futile rage
    Like a bird a golden cage

    Sequined silk and golden chains
    Fail to heal the scars that remain
    Making me learn that joy comes not from wealth
    But from loving people and sound health.

    But here I am imprisoned
    Where I don’t live
    But merely exist
    With heavy volumes that
    I ought to read
    For a rewarding career it seems
    All for what?
    To eventually build another
    Golden cage for my victims
    Yet to be borne and born by me?

    Rich spoilt child is what you protect me from
    No need to, I tell you
    But why does a plea for a normal social life
    Have to mean pubs or discotheques?
    Instead why remind me of the diamond walls
    That have, been built for me
    Like I asked for it?
    I seek not, the whole world
    But merely, my share in it.

    Free me, I am a little golden bird
    In this golden cage..


  7. #26
    Senior Member Platinum Hubber pavalamani pragasam's Avatar
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    A vividly painted picture of yearning of a pampered but caged bird!
    Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

  8. #27
    Senior Member Diamond Hubber
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavalamani pragasam
    A vividly painted picture of yearning of a pampered but caged bird!



    But here I am imprisoned
    Where I don’t live
    But merely exist
    Anbe Sivam

  9. #28
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Thank you PP mam and Vasi Akka ...

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