A Question to the Men here.

[Alan]

Do too beautiful & stylish women put you off? Or am I the only retarded nut here who thinks that way?

What I mean is: I know this pretty girl who happens to be a family friend'sdaughter ( I was supposed to marry her, according to both our parents but somehow I had always liked my childhood sweetheart who also happens to be my cousin)

This girl is pretty enough(sweet face but has an overweight problem) but I feel she dresses to kill , just to show off- I mean too stylish- I feel a little repulsive even if her intentions may be to attract!

[pooja.shankar]

u mean alan ....do women dress stylishly to put u ON?

....

well most teens dress so that they'll put ON..someone ..

not me ..though .....coz ..i am a very 'ordinarily'dressed person ...

and my attempts to look stunning always end in futility ....

i am no good at stylish dressing ! ...

i am always out with a pain of jeans and a simple shirt or kurta ....thats all ...

[gaddeswarup]

This is not an answer to the main question but I think that some caution may be needed when marrying persons known from childhood. There is a theory with some evidence that marriages between persons who know each other well before the age of three (for either) may have problems. Some of the evidence comes from arranged marriages in China where some of the girls grew up with the husbands' families more or less fro birth. This is discussed in " Nature via nurture" by Matt Ridley (pages 171-174).

[Alan]

Ok gaddeswarup, we'll put aside the Chinese stuff, firmly behind us- In my case it is not applicable b'coz we made the decision to get married much later, like I was in my 5th sem Engg & she was in the 12th or so- earlier we had seen & known each other & liked each other but not too deep-u know. yeah,,,,,,,,,,so...

[Shakthiprabha.]

(I am not a man...... can I answer ? )

There can be diff reasons....

I suppose she puts u off cause u are intersted in a diff woman!

I suppose stylish woman PUT normal dressed men OFF, because of the fear that, THEY LACK to look on par with them

I suppose INTENTION of attracting others (any men in cocern) is NOT WELCOME, a NO-NO-TABOO for men, esp indian men?!

I mean.. just my point of view.


Think bout it.

Also our age old concepts which says........

"aisi bahu ghar ki layak nahi"...... kinda opinions???????

[selvakumar]

Alan,

My case is different. In our office, One aunty is here. Everyday she comes in a dress which is .. She definitly takes everyone's attention away. She dresses to kill everyone. The fact is, she is not too ugly/ too beautiful. She reveals what she should not reveal.

I am not sure when we(people in our office) are going to get freedom from this mindless show conducted by her everyday..

[Lambretta]

Alan,
IMO the definition of "too beautiful" or "too stylish" varies from man to man.....however if by "dresses to kill" or "show" off, u mean wat I wud mean (& u'd already know wat I mean! ) then ur defintely not the only 'nut' to feel put off! So cheer up!
And I think its better to be such a 'nut' (for the dignity of both, the man as well as the woman in qsn.!) than be a fool to fall for women of such type!

My case is different. In our office, One aunty is here. Everyday she comes in a dress which is.. She definitly takes everyone's attention away. She dresses to kill everyone. The fact is, she is not too ugly/ too beautiful. She reveals what she should not reveal. I am not sure when we(people in our office) are going to get freedom from this mindless show conducted by her everyday..

Hmm.....Selva, one qsn.- from ur description, do u (& the rest of ur office gumbal) wish for freedom from this 'mindless' show bcos u find this 'lady' not looking decent (esp. for her 'aunty' status!) or bcos she is not too beautiful (in wich case it'd been msotly seen as a waste to 'dress to kill' too! )......hey, jus kidding macha! No offence!
Well, I face a similar situation too but after imagining ur plight I guess I might reconsider, maybe I'm being too fussy! :P
I just started attending my training for general insurance y'day.......& so happens I (& another guy) sit in the 2nd bench & 2 ladies sit in the 1st, jus b4 me......one of them seems a middle-class type 'Aunty', not too ugly/too beautiful, just like in ur situation, Selva.
& she doesn't really "dress to kill".......except tat she wears blouses tat r low-cut at the back....yea I know its common trend nowadays! but on the 1st day (y'day) I felt very uncomfy/embarassed sitting rite behind her, esp. when I hav to look up front at the board most of the time.....!
Now I felt really put off at this & even felt an urge to avoid her all of y'day until we all began to talk more w/ each other today & she turns out to be quite a simple, nice person.....!
On 2nd thot, I feel it wud've maybe been more um- appropriate if such low cut styles wernt worn atleast in formal atmospheres like offices etc. & cud maybe restricted to parties/outings.....!
But again, strangely its usually the Saree blouses tat currently seem to be stitched in tat fashion, not Salwar Kameez/Kurtas!

[selvakumar]

Hmm.....Selva, one qsn.- from ur description, do u (& the rest of ur office gumbal) wish for freedom from this 'mindless' show bcos u find this 'lady' not looking decent (esp. for her 'aunty' status!) or bcos she is not too beautiful (in wich case it'd been msotly seen as a waste to 'dress to kill' too! )......hey, jus kidding macha! No offence!

Machan.. You read my mind ! With cute teenage girls(who are really stylish and beautiful in the dress they wear and who wear a dress that suit them most) it is not a problem. The lady under consideration is quite a corporate one and she flatters herself too much. In your situation, it was a low-cut blouse. But she is coming in dresses which I feel emby to explain. Dresses that will reveal ur indecent / improper assets. Even if she is beautiful, I will feel the same. People esp aunties should be careful while choosing their dresses.

P.S:

Machan, Generally men are often put off by ladies who dress to kill. I experienced this one in a Restaurant here. I was sitting with a couple along with my friend. She was wearing .. oh.. couldn't explain here I saw her T-Shirt only till the lunch. But when she was about to leave, she stood from the table and oh.. GOD.. she was wearing a ULTRA - MINI SKIRT. someone called her.. and there I saw her son.. Wonder !! how I might have felt at that time

[Lambretta]

Even if she is beautiful, I will feel the same. People esp aunties should be careful while choosing their dresses.

Exactly! Who the h said tat being beautiful means u hav to show ur body off to every T D & H??!
Tat too knowing tat ur physical beauty is not goin2 last too long neways......so y put on such a show for sumthing 'temporary'??!

Machan, Generally men are often put off by ladies who dress to kill

And on top of it call themselves 'modern' jus bcos of looking like tat (wat abt ur education, attitude, character etc.??!! ), calling guys who disagree as conservative hags!
'wonder wat they've got in their heads?!

[selvakumar]

Lambretta,

There are few exceptions too. Right after that Restaurant incident, I met a client. She was also wearning the same one. But she is from Finland. She never put me off during the whoe conversation. IMHO foreigners know what they are supposed to do. Only our people under the name of "MODERNISATION" are spoiling the very basic things. One thing with my client is - She was ultra cautious in her approach. She was cautious in not making herself a reason for the detraction. But the very next day, I saw the same office aunty in the very same dress(that of my client)

It was like seeing a after having seen a