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Thread: A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

  1. #611
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:

    "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

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  3. #612
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."

    The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  4. #613
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    A wife with near maturing pregnan! Cy goes to railway station to return to her husband.

    At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.

    Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:

    "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  5. #614
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.

    The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

    Well he thinks for a while and says:

    Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".

    The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"

    The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.

    The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

    "You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  6. #615
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    how to make a woman happy

    How to Make a Woman Happy



    It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24.. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate
    44. compassionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

    45. give her compliments regularly
    46. love shopping
    47. be honest
    48. be very rich
    49. not stress her out
    50. not look at other girls

    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    54. Never to forget:
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes





    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

































    VERY SIMPLE……




    Small Smile











    123456789

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  8. #616
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber Querida's Avatar
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    even in jokes...there should atleast be an ounce of truth

    i'd like to see a man survive only on smiles....

  9. #617
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Querida
    i'd like to see a man survive only on smiles....
    small smile is author speak.... since this is a family site, padmanabha is not stating the obvious.
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  10. #618
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Querida
    even in jokes...there should atleast be an ounce of truth

    i'd like to see a man survive only on smiles....

  11. #619
    Senior Member Senior Hubber chevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlemaster1982
    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

    The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

  12. #620
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlemaster1982
    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

    The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."



    Quote Originally Posted by Querida
    A man and his wife were having difficulties with their memory. A relative gave them the name of a doctor who was reputed to have great success in helping people with memory problems. They decided to go. A few weeks later they were chatting with a friend about this, and told him it was working.
    The man said he was having problems with his memory also, and asked for the name of the doctor.

    The husband said, "You'll have to help me here a little with my memory technique. Uh, let's see, a flower, long stem, uh, thorns....."

    "Rose," the man guessed.

    "That's it," the husband said, "Hey Rose, what's the name of that doctor?"



    Quote Originally Posted by NOV
    A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."

    The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."

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