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Thread: A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

  1. #21
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    Four boys were fishing. As their boat rounded a point on the lake, they saw a man thrashing in the water. With no hesitation, they jumped into the water and saved him.

    It was not until they pulled him to shore that they noticed the man they had saved was President George Bush, who had slipped away from the Secret Service for a swim. When President Bush caught his breath, he thanked the two boys and offered them anything they wanted in return for saving his life.

    The first boy thought about it for a while and finally answered. “I would like a presidential appointment to West Point so I can serve my country.”

    The next two thought that was a great idea, but one said he had always wanted to be a pilot so he would rather attend the Air Force Academy.

    The third boy chose the Naval Academy.

    The president turned to the fourth boy, who was still thinking. Finally he answered, “Mr. President, I would like a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery” The president was shocked and asked the boy why he would make such a request at his young age. The boy replied “Because when my father finds out I saved you, he is going to kill me!”

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  3. #22
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    SANTA goes for a interview for the post of a DETECTIVE.

    Interviewer Asked- WHO KILLED GANDHI.?

    SANTA- Thanx for giving me the JOB.
    I will Investigate...

  4. #23
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    The Secret Of Staying Young





    Is To







    Live Honestly. . .





    Eat Slowly. . .



    &





    Lie About Your Age.

  5. #24
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

    He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

    The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

    He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

    Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

    Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

    He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

    Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

    "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

    "Because maintenance is so bad that

    The electric chair does not work,

    Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed

    And the devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!

  6. #25
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."
    The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
    After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... 'Congratulations on your new location!'"

  7. #26
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    Three men are in a coffee shop bragging about their dogs. Each claims to have the world's smartest dog. The first man says, "MY dog is so smart, every morning I give him two dollars and he goes to the corner shop to buy me the Herald. He knows it's the only paper I'll ever read. He comes back with the correct change. Now that's a smart dog."

    The second man says, "That's nothing. Every morning I give MY dog ten dollars and he goes to the corner shop to buy me a pack of Double Mint Gum. He knows it's the only brand I'll chew. He comes back with correct change. Now that's a smart dog."

    The third man says "That's nothing. You know the corner shop where your dogs buy that stuff? Well, MY dog runs the place!"

  8. #27
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.

    "Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.

    "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.

    "I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."

    "And?"

    "At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"

  9. #28
    Senior Member Devoted Hubber c4ramesh's Avatar
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    Banta and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State s patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters.


    They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly.
    "Bhagat Singh" said Banta and pulled one hair from the Bengali.

    "Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same.

    They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters.

    The Bengali, however, was very clever.
    He used Banta s ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names.

    Banta was stuck.

    He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter`s name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali`s head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh''...!!!

  10. #29
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    Once Santa is traveling by train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The Santa thinks there is someone in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat.

    5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same person there. An hour passes away, he has made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there.

    So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what s been going on.

    The TC feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident person out.

    Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell Santa, "I m sorry, I can not do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member."

  11. #30
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    Banta was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left him over 50 lacs.

    Banta was so happy when the warden said he would put it in trust untll he was released.

    The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying the money up. Banta said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a computer.

    The warden said "sure" and got him a computer.

    A brand new Compaq computer.

    After a few weeks the warden visitied him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement he saw the computer smashed on the floor.

    The warden asked Banta what happened.

    Banta said it didn`t work right and he got mad. He said it would not even complete the simplest task.

    The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do. Banta said he just wanted one thing from the computer.

    One simple task and it could not do it....!!!!!!

    Banta said, "I hit the escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothin, I am still here. I think I will sue Compaq."

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