A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[c4ramesh]

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the
family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you,
I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to
do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the
noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the
office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being
stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you a
half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like
factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with
you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out!!!"

[c4ramesh]

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch.

A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

[c4ramesh]

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

[c4ramesh]

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cursing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

[c4ramesh]

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

[Querida]

c4ramesh....what a great selection of jokes...really i needed to laugh...thanks!!!

[c4ramesh]

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have
change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's
corridor floors, and asked him,"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "Sure."

The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a
superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have
change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

[c4ramesh]

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

[littlemaster1982]

Ramesh, the last two jokes are

[c4ramesh]

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, “Okay, let’s get out and get him.”

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, “The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?” The guy in the front said, “Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”