A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[Sudhaama]

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First Name, Middle Name, Surname... Real Name?

http://beta.thehindu.com/opinion/ope...icle387414.ece


Courtesy: The Hindu

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[NOV]

A girl is at the weighing machine checking her weight. She weighed 58kg . Removes Sandal = 56. Then Dupatta = 52
She then realises that her coins had finished.
A boy in the queue behind her said, "Pls carry on, I have more coins for you!"

[NOV]

Mohammed, an Arab child, entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio.

"What is your name?" - asked the teacher.

"Mohammed". . .. - answered the kid.

"You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," -replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" - asked his mother.

"My name is not Mohammed. I'm in America and now my name is Johnny."

"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" - and she beat him.

Then she called his father and he too beat him.

The next day Mohammed returned to school..

When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Johnny"?

"Well ma'am, 4 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by two Arabs."

[groucho070]

During Easter sermon, the priest told the congregation this joke:

An old couple visits Jerusalem. Unfortunately, the wife dies during the trip. Now, it was question of getting her buried. If her body were to be brought back home, it will be expensive, plus the immigration headaches and all.

On the other hand, being buried in Jerusalem is easier to do, plus its a holy land, which is even more meaningful.

So, the friends around the old man asked him what would be his decision, the old dude said, "well, I want to bring her home"

The friends were aghast. Why? They asked. Why go through all the difficulties.

Old man: More than two thousand years ago, they buried a man here and he rose again on the third day. I don't want the same thing to happen.

[rangan_08]

A girl is at the weighing machine checking her weight. She weighed 58kg . Removes Sandal = 56. Then Dupatta = 52
She then realises that her coins had finished.
A boy in the queue behind her said, "Pls carry on, I have more coins for you!"

This is what I call social service, I say .

[NOV]

If Vijayakanth movies are dubbed into English....
Some punch dialogues...


You can study and get any certificates. But you cannot get your death certificate .


You may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze you'll say HUTCH.


You can bcome an engineer if you study in
engineering college. You cannot become a president if you study in Presidency College.


You can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... You
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.


A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot become a software.


You can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world =in world cup.


You can find keys in Keyboard but yol cannot find mother in motherboard.

[raagadevan]

If Vijayakanth movies are dubbed into English....
Some punch dialogues...


You can study and get any certificates. But you cannot get your death certificate .


You may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze you'll say HUTCH.


You can bcome an engineer if you study in
engineering college. You cannot become a president if you study in Presidency College.


You can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... You
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.


A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot become a software.


You can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world =in world cup.


You can find keys in Keyboard but yol cannot find mother in motherboard.

[NOV]

I guess you imagined VK mouthing those lines.

Hopefully Honest doesnt see this.

[NOV]

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.



2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.



4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.



5. I thought that I could love no other
That is until I met your brother.


6. Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.



8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!



9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way?



10. My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'



11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[NOV]

Hello God,

This year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer. Amen

-Amanda, Age 5