A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[Querida]

A man had two of the best tickets for the FA Cup Final. As he sits
down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat
next to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty.."

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have
a seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of
the year, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed
to come with me, but she
passed away. This is the first Cup Final we
haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that.
That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or
relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at her funeral."

[NOV]

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse, and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture again and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

[NOV]

Sridhar was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up towards heaven, he said "Murugaa, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Pazhani every year for the rest of my life and give up beer."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Sridhar looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

[NOV]

During a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the Director 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.'

'Well,' said the Director, 'We fill up a bathtub, and then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' Said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug. Well... Would you prefer a bed near the window?'

[Nerd]

A man was caught bathing naked at the Courtrallam water falls. When enquired, he said that he acted according to the instructions written on the board. And the instruction read, " Ingu jattiyudan kulikka koodadhu "

[Querida]

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse, and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture again and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

[jaaze]

Somehow this made me

07:00 Pongal Seivathu Eppadi–Actress Namitha with Chef Jacob

http://www.sunnetwork.org/tvschedule...14/2010&tv=sun

[Dinesh84]

Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist.
"I don't understand it," she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80." "It is usually $20, ma'am," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"

[hamid]

He is a Malayali working for a multinational company in
Mumbai.

Not well educated and he is working as a peon there.

Whenever Kuttappan hears somebody talk he will come in
between them and saying

that I know that very well I know him very well like that.



One day Kuttappan's Boss a foreign educated person
& a North Indian was talking

something about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Kuttappan was passing thru that way,suddenly he came in
between saying that

'oh Arnee.... he is my best friend'.



Kuttapan's boss laughed at him saying that how can u be
a friend of

Arnold Schwarzenegger? ? you are only a peon living in India
...

Kuttappan said if u wont believe its your problem I cant
help you. Ok.

The Manager said I am going on a trip to US next week you
come as my assistant

and we will go to Arnold 's house and see what happens.

Kuttappan agreed with a smile.



A week after they landed in US.

First they went to New York.Arnold was there in NY.

And They went to meet Arnold .

Seeing Kuttappan Arnold ran towards Kuttappan and hugged
him

and askd that hey Kuttappan... . long time no see where were
u man????

Kuttappan went with Arnold to have some coffee.

Boss was stunned.

When Kuttappan came back the boss told him that

we will go to Clintons place. Let's find out whether u
know him or not.
Kuttappan agreed with a smile.

At Clinton 's home Clinton also did the same as
Schwarzenegger

asking that where were you my friend for long time?

Kuttappan went to have tea with Clinton while the boss was
sitting out side the gate

When Kuttappan came back boss said I have to go to Vatican

to get blessings from Pope John Paul,so u come with me.

At the Vatican crowd from all over the world

is waiting to see Pope John Paul.
Kuttappan and his boss are also there.

Boss asked Kuttappan, do you know Pope John Paul.??
Kuttappan said 'Y Not....????'

Boss told Kuttappan that he will not believe this.

Kuttappan asked boss to wait for some time and went inside
the crowd.



After 15 minutes Kuttappan came on the balcony along with
Pope John Paul.

Pope John Paul was holding Kuttappan's hand.

Kuttappan's boss became unconscious and fell down.



When Kuttappan came back his boss was on a stretcher

by his side nurses and paramedics

Kuttappan asked Sir what happened.??

Then boss told; Kuttappaaa.. u know Arnold I believe,

u know Clinton I believe and

u know Pope John Paul I believe that toooo...

BUT U KNOW WHEN U CAME WITH POPE AT THE BALCONY

THE CROWD WERE ASKING

' WHO IS HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN ..????'

after hearing that I became unconscious.

too good

[Thirumaran]

A man was caught bathing naked at the Courtrallam water falls. When enquired, he said that he acted according to the instructions written on the board. And the instruction read, " Ingu jattiyudan kulikka koodadhu "

nalla vaela naan kutraalam poanaboathu antha board kannula padala