Captain Vijaykanth Story

[Tirupathi]

Vijaykanth desperately wanted to rope in the India's sizzling hot actess
susmita
sen in his next movie - Perarasu or whatever. So he called up Sush.
This is
how the conversation happend--

Kanth: Hello sushmitha jee, I am Vijaykanth
Sush: WHO???

Kanth: it is me sush jee, Top Tamil Party leader.u don't know me?
Sush: which one? I heard TN got almost a dozen of that.

Kanth: even i don't remeber which one. u read news paper?
sush: yes. why?

Kanth: i did Super Hit movies last year and it came in all newspapers t.v also
Sush:
so u just started ur career?

Kanth: ababa nee yabba. no sush jee. i mean not last year only, every yeari give blocbusters
sush: what? u No.1 Superstar?

Kanth: Ya, There is one Kannada guy you know, he says he is No,1 star.
Sush: So who are you

Kanth: I'm a telugu, Naiduwala
Sush: So, why you become star in Tamil

Kanth: Tamil present Superstars all dark skinned, you no. Me, Rajnikant, Vijay...
Sush: I dont like them, why you dont try in telugu, i did one with Nagarjuna

Kanth: Telugu all handsome no. NBK is mental like me, Chiru,Nag,NTR,Mahesh all fair, me dark
Sush: What u mental, then how come u act in movies?

Kanth: hahahaha. kya sush jee. tum bhi. i said i have mental. but in real
idont have mental. i just acted. very big action. it is in our family.
sush: what? mental?

Kanth: no jee. Action is in our family. in our blood.
Sushh!

Kanth: and they really belived i am mental. haha
Sush: you bet. i have already started to believe it.

Kanth: what?
sush: Nothing. u go ahead

Kanth: i want u act with me as heroine in my new film.
Sush: Let me see ur pic? where can i see it?

Kanth: you go cinesouth.com and see my pics. i am dancing with Sameeta Jetty
Sush: yeah. i am there. what do i have to look for?

Kanth: i dont know. i don't know internet. my director showed me on his computer
Sush: oh! ok i will find myself. by the way it's Sameeta Shetty not Sameeta Jetty

Kanth: but i call her Jetty. it is easy for me.
sush: u look very short. how tall are u?

Kanth: 5'5"
sush: what?? I am 5'9"

Kanth: so what? i wear very high heel shoes. always u dont wear shoes.
problem solve. u acted in one movie with salman no?
sush: yeah but he has a great body and u r a fat azz with a big tummy

Kanth: that no problem. i never do in-shirt. always shirt outside
Sush: was that a wig u wearing in the pics?

Kanth: yes. i have hair. but not enough for films you know. but don't
worry.i have hair all over my body except on head.
Sush: In all my previous movies i ran my fingers through hero's hair?
I can't do that to u right?


Kanth: no problem. u can do with my chest hair. that way it is romantic
also. my fans like romance very much.
sush: ok. Whats the story?

Kanth: Simple Ji, Me honest CBI. I never go with My uniform. I always put
Torchlight in my cap and run into caves. There i find one geng of Pakistanis
talking in Tamil about their next Bomb plan in Hyderabad.I was shocked. I
Shout "DEYYYYY", and i talk about Tamil Nadu to them, the power of TN to them.
The Pakistanis get angry and shoots all my officers. I just fly from one end to another
until the guns finsihes bullets. Then i come with loud music, with my flag.
Theres one song Ji, Tamizhan Naanda, Aruppen Kundaa, Payuven Nanda, Policena Sunda?,
Like that my fans in C and D centres put flowers on floor. Then i shoot all
terrorists, tough i can put onli 6 bullets inside

Sush: How?
Kanth: Kya Sush Ji, Me action Hero, No logic. Then my gun also bullet finish.
I dont know what to do. Only one gun with bullets in the cave. Only one
Big guy and me alive, we must take the gun to survive. The guy runs to take.
Me just fly to take that. Unfortunately a bat hit my torch lite and i fell from 50
feet

Sush: What? 50 Ft? Are you Crazy?
Kanth: No ji, we must fool the audience. But i dont get hurt. I pretend to have gun
with bullets. The Terrorist talks about Indian and TN Govt. and shoots. The 6 bullets
comes like train I just open my gun cap, with empty bullets, and fills it with
the villain's buillets..we do this with DTX and THX sound, Ji.. Sure audience will
love this.. then i shoot the guy, and walks proud with my flag on background..
Then a guy with no shirt, come to fight. He's a giant, me just teenager. We fight
for 30 minutes and he lost. Then i advice him. Indian always powerful. Me Indian
Lion, how you feel?. The audience cry for this because they also indian..

Sush: So where's me in this story
Kanth: Kya Ji, you most important character this movie. You act as a middle-clas
lawyers daughter. You were very skimpy clothes and come to my station. and complains
about your poverty. Then i advice you, how to dress. Then you fell in love with me.
Duet in Swiss..
Endi Sushu,
Uttudi Jusu.
Dresselam Loosu,
Un ethiri Bipasha Basuu...
Then after my encounter, i saw you in beach, you run 100km/h and hugs me, i ask why
you're saying you dream about me, then i push you, you looks shell-shocked. Then
i say cooly, You only????? Then one Folk song in Vizag... The intro scene i put
nail polish on your naval.....

Sush: What?
Kanth: Ya, South audience loves naval. Me king of naval games.. then the song||
Vizag vantha Bollywood Queenu...
Sattunu un Mogathai On Pannu...
Then you..
Karuppu Singa Rajave...
Nethan Ippa MGR'eh......
Very good smooch scene ji... You also will get roused..
Me only 19 you what 22?..

Sush: Nvm, Is that my character, only for songs and dance with you..?
Kanth: Kya sush Ji.. Me Action hero. Leader of 60Million Tamilians. You must
be lucky to act with me. Priyanka Chopra and Bipahsa Basu also did useless
Characters like this before in Tamil No... Ang... Im the captain..

Sush: Argh.... No Callsheet now.. Tell me about last movie.

Kanth: oh. it is called Narasimha. power of indian. in that i made
lot of actions. u shud see that film. i fight with pakistan. i don't
know hindi no? so i speak tamil with them. they understood. but public did
not
understand. thats why it became flop.
Sush: u spoke in tamil with pakistanis? wow! why you talking to me
in English?

Kanth: you very beautiful gal no? thats why. so when u coming Madras for
myfilm?
sush: whattttt? do u think i am crazy to do a film with you?

Kanth: why? how much money u want? my producer will pay any much u want
otherwise i will shoot him no?
sush: these days tamil songs are being played in channel V and MTV.
what would my friends think abt me if they see me dancing with you?

Kanth: pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
sush: shut up and go shoot urself.
sush hangs up;

[malsi]

i think its quite an insult to vijaykanth..that shouldnt be the case right?...

[kb]

Kanth: pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
sush: shut up and go shoot urself.
sush hangs up;

enna irrundhaalum sushmita sen vijaykanth kitta pesinathuka.. thooku potukanum..

[Lambretta]

Oho.....Captain telungu karar-aa??
Appo TN politics le avar yen anavsrama matikitaar?

Neways, I guess tat cud mainly explain y he isn't gettin popular there! O course if so tat wudn't be fair cos Rajni also is non-Tamil, kannada.....!

Can't be sure if this convers. is for real tho! But still, it sounds so hilarious (no offence to VJK fans!)
Thirpi thirpi padikiche ellam sirupu nikkavematengarthu!!

[crazy]

supe-----------------------r!
i showed it to my pakistani friend, she couldn't even stopp laughing!
( but i kept on explaining about vijaykanth and other things u wrote on tamil)

lambretta captain telungu illa, telungu jadiya senthavaru!