Indian Jokes

[Oldposts]

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence?" He was asked."The efforts began
a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied."Who
was responsible for our independence?"."There were so many. Whom to
mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another."He
replied."Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"."Some
research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly
only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they

were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.

"At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then

it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him."By the way, what is

your date of birth?" He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier

and final result was in 1947." Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification."What is your fathers name?" He replied, "There were so
many. Whom to mention". If I name one it will be injustice to another"
The interviewer was incensed. "Hey! are you mad or what?" He replied.
"Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only

after seeing the report."

[Oldposts]

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting in a bar when Banta Singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her the Bar Tender said, "Hey don't worry about her, She is a lesbian! ".
Banta Singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"

[Oldposts]

good ones!

"Jassi singh tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b at home."

When she goes the next day to his home.......
There was NO ONE at home.
"<<<<<<<<<<<

) ) )

[Oldposts]

Santa happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery. Santa's turn came after many attempts by others. Santa gave a story, which was just one sentence and read: "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child". Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Santa whether it contained all the four ingredients! Santa replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:

Oh God: religion; my wife: sex; going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy); "Okay...but where is the mystery?" asked one of the organizers.


Santa replied, "Who is the father?


Santa was declared the winner for writing the shortest story!

[Oldposts]

Santa Singh and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The American asks Santa Singh if he'd like to play a fun game.
Santa Singh is tired, so he declines and tries
to get some sleep.

The American persists and explains that the game
is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."
Again, Santa Singh declines. The American, now
agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the
answer, I pay you $500."

This catches Santa Singh's attention. He sits
up, yawns and agrees to play the game. The
American asks the first question:
"What's the distance
from the earth to the moon?"

Santa Singh doesn't say a word, reaches his
wallet, pulls out $5, hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with 4 legs and
comes down with 8 legs?"
and goes back to sleep. The American, totally
puzzled, takes out his laptop and searches all his references... no answer.
He taps into the air phone
with his modem and searches the Internet and the
Library of Congress...
no answer. He sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers... no answer.
After an hour, he wakes Santa Singh up and hands
him $500.

Santa Singh thanks him and goes back to sleep.
The American shakes Santa Singh and asks, "Well,
what's the answer?"

Without a word, Santa Singh reaches into his
purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep.

[Oldposts]

MAN ASKED GOD HOW MUCH IS THE VALUE OF US100 MILLION TO YOU.
GOD SAID ITS ABOUT I CENT FOR ME
MAN ASKED GOD HOW LONG IS 100YEARS FOR YOU
GOD SAID ITS ABOUT 1 SECOND FOR ME.
MAN SAID GOD WHY DONT YOU GIVE ME US100 MILLION ITS ONLY 1 CENT FOR YOU.
GOD SAID SURE BUT CAN YOU WAIT 1 SECOND

[Oldposts]

JISKE DIL MEIN DARD HEIN, WOH DILDAAR HAI
JISKE DIL MEIN DARD HAI, WOH DILDAAR HAI,
JISKE SAR PE DARD HAI WOH SARDAAR HAI

[Oldposts]

JAMES BOND AND A TELUGU GUY FLY TO NEWYORK IN A FLIGHT. TELUGU GUY TAKES THE INITIATIVE TO CONVERSE WITH BOND.
TELUGU GUY ASKS THE NAME OF BOND
BOND SAYS: BOND! JAMES BOND! JAMES BOND 007!
AND BOND ASKS TELUGU GUY'S NAME.
TELUGU GUY SAYS: PRASAD! VENKATA PRASAD!
VEERA VENKATA PRASAD! SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD! SRILAKSHMI SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD! VENKATESHWARA SRILAKSHMI SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD!
SRINIVASULA VENKATESHWARA SRILAKSHMI SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD!
RAMANJANEYULA SRINIVASULA VENKATESHWARA SRILAKSHMI SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD!
SITA RAMANJANEYULA SRINIVASULA VENKATESHWARA SRILAKSHMI SAI VEERA VENKATA PRASAD!

[Oldposts]

once a sardar was going from la to bombay. he was occupying the seat just next to the world chess champion gary kasparov. kasparov challenges him for a game of chess. he declines. to persuade him kasparov says that he will play with his left hand. sardar agrees. w3ithin a minute the sardar gets defeated.
sadly the sardar presents himself before his freind sardar and and tells him about the incident.
he says"SERVES YOU RIGHT. DONT YOU KNOW KASPAROV IS A NATURAL LEFT HANDER?

[Oldposts]

once tha theory of karl marx happens to get the attention and agreement of all the people on the earth. a law is passed which calls for the equality of everything. equality of money and land for all was not abig problem and it was achieved easily. but the problem before all the people was to establish an equality of thinking capacity that is the brain. scientists achieve a a stunning solution by devising a machine to achieve the required ends. the machine cud diminish an excellent brain & cud take a normal brain to a calculated normal thinking level. the machine was operated by a SARDARJI. once EINSTEIN VISITS his clinic to get his brain lessened. putting him in the machine the SARDAR goes to sleep. after 9 hours he is horrified to think of the condition of EINSTEIN. he rushes to him and says,"EINSTEIN JI maaf kar do. mai aapke brain ko normalcy pe le jaaonga." EINSTEIN says,"CHADD YAAR YE SAB CHALTA RETIYA HAI!