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Thread: Indian Jokes

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    Indian Jokes



    Topic started by Tamizharasan (@ wwwgate31.motorola.com) on Tue Jul 22 16:03:02 .




    Hi Everyone
    As we know sardar jokes are very famous in India. this thread is not to hurt anyone. this one is just for fun. Let me start with one sardar joke. You are welcome to post whatever you guys have heard. so that we can have collection of sardar jokes.

    Two sardarji's named guru singh and satavan singh are travelling in a train.
    Guru singh looks like typical sardarji with beard and moustache.
    Unfortunately Satavan Singh does not have beard and moustache.
    Guru Singh goes to sleep asking satavan singh to wake him up when Ahmedabad comes. Satavan singh is very jealous of his co traveller guru singh because he does not have beard and moustach. So while gurusingh is sleeping he takes a knife and shaves of guru singh's beard and moustache.
    Before Ahmedabad's comes satavan singh goes to guru singh and wakes him up.Guru singh goes to wash basin to freshen up. But after seeing his face in the mirror he says this guy satavan singh woke up somebody else instead of me!!!!!!





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    Cine_fan (@ gico*) on: Wed Jul 23 11:29:57 EDT 2003




    Tamizharasan
    good topic and the joke was good one. Here is my contribution.

    Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids playing nearby decided to pull his leg. Walking upto him they asked him.

    Sir are you relaxing? Zail singh replied, "No I am zail singh"

    The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This terribly confused Zail Singh and he decided to check it out. He walked up to a guy who was relaxing on a bench near him and asked.

    Are you relaxing? the man replied "Yes why do you ask?
    Zail singh answered with satisfaction, " Then those kids are probably looking for you!"

    Will post more when I rememember





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    Tamizharasan (@ wwwg*) on: Wed Jul 23 12:03:56 EDT 2003




    Cine fan
    Thanks for the response.
    Here is another one.

    Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.





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    Shakthi (@ 203-*) on: Thu Jul 24 00:14:54 EDT 2003




    Santa singh was in a hurry to reach airport. He speeded back home with a sullen face when he say the board

    "AIRPORT LEFT!"





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    Ivon (@ 203.*) on: Mon Aug 4 11:47:33 EDT 2003




    Hi GUYS! here is something from my side:

    A passerby watched two sardarjis in a park. One was digging holes and the
    other was immediately filling them in again.
    Tell me,' said the passerby, 'What on earth are you doing?'
    Well,' said the digger,1'Usually there are three of us. I dig the hole,
    Balwant plants the
    tree saplings and Gurpreet fills in the hole. Today Balwant is off ill, but
    that doesn't mean Gurpreet and I get the day off, does it?
    ================================================== ==========================





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    Tamizharasan (@ wwwg*) on: Mon Aug 4 12:25:49 EDT 2003




    Ivon good one

    Here is another three
    1. A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
    2. This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
    3. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"


    For those who don't understand hindi here is the explanation
    //kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
    //
    why Sardarji? what is the matter? Why are you scared after all it is cinema. Sardar replies I know it is cinema but that animal(dinosaur) does not know it is cinema

    //"kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
    //
    Why are you unnecessarily keeping this (food)one with you. Sardarji says: If train comes late then I do not want to die starving





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    Hyderabadi (@ 219.*) on: Thu Aug 7 01:16:15 EDT 2003




    The newlyweds, Santa and Jeeto, were suffering from exhaustion.
    After an examination, their doctor advised, "It's not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is rest. For the next month I want you to limit your sex life to those days of the week with an "R" in them. That is, Thursday, Friday and Saturday."
    Since the end of the week was approaching, Santa and Jeeto had no immediate difficulty following the medico's orders. But on the first night of scheduled rest Jeeto found herself eager as a beaver.
    Santa fell asleep, but she tossed and turned and finally nudged him into partial wakefulness.
    Expecting daylight, and confused with the darkness, he asked, "What day is it honey?"
    Jeeto looks at him with a gleam in her eyes and says, "Mondray."





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    Hyderabadi (@ 219.*) on: Thu Aug 7 01:18:31 EDT 2003




    Santa and Banta were sitting in a bar getting really drunk and are talking about all sorts of things.
    Santa says, "I love my wife, Jeeto, but sometimes I get bored. Tell me, have you ever thought of swapping partners? Who says you have to be with your wife and I have to be with my wife all the time!"
    Banta, "Hey, that's a great idea. Let's talk to our wives and see what they think."
    Each of them talks to his wife, and much to their delight Jeeto and Preeto agree to the plan.
    The next morning Banta says to Santal, "How was it for you?"
    Santa says, "I had a lot of fun, we should do this again."
    "That's what I think," says Banta. "Let's go next door and see how our wives made out."





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    Hyderabadi (@ 219.*) on: Thu Aug 7 01:24:33 EDT 2003




    Santa and his wife, Jeeto had just gone to bed for the night. Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, "I hear someone breaking in."
    At least two nights a week for twenty years Santa had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. So this time also he went out for a routine check.
    When Santa entered the den he was suprised by an intruder. The man held a gun on him and continued to rob the house. As the theif was about to leave our Santa said, "You have to go and meet my wife, Jeeto."
    The thief said, " Why on earth would you want me to meet your wife?"
    Santa replied, "Well, she`s been expecting you for 20 years."





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    Hyderabadi (@ 219.*) on: Thu Aug 7 01:29:11 EDT 2003




    Banta`s wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

    Preeto answers, 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'

    Banta laughs and says, 'An English girl !!!

    Preeto kept quiet and left.

    Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks, 'So, honey, how was the trip?'

    'Very good, thank you.'

    'And, what happened to my present?'

    'Which present?'

    'What I asked for, the English girl?!'

    Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!





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