""LOVE MARRIAGE VS ARRANGE MARRIAGE:""

**Sathya** · 24th November 2004, 04:10 AM

I mean, What is "LOVE" really? Why do yo think people that are young fall in love, but people, say in their 40's or later, usually don't? Its the age, the hormones. Anyone disagree?

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**Sathya** · 24th November 2004, 04:12 AM

How do you know that you're in love?

**Querida** · 24th November 2004, 04:23 AM

i don't think anyone can ever answer your question fully...

that's what so enduring and alluring about it 8)

**Sathya** · 24th November 2004, 04:42 AM

So you don't agree that its just hormones? or do u?

**hehehewalrus** · 24th November 2004, 04:48 AM

What is this meaningless thing called "Love marriage"? You mean to say all others are "hate marriages"? marriage means love. love marriage is like the expression "basic fundamentals"

love na marriage, marriage na love.

**Querida** · 24th November 2004, 04:57 AM

no i dont think i could simply define love as an hormonal activity...yes hehehewalrus that is what i think also but it concerns me that it is not the way alot of other people see it....as i said earlier why is love marriage so wrong and arranged marriage so right....or the other way around...Does arranged marriage just mean acceptance and love marriage mean rash decisions why is it so important to point out which is more better...is it not different for everyone whatever they choose...and hence shouldn't the point of this discussion be how hard/easy it is to make a marriage work whatever its cause?

**Sathya** · 24th November 2004, 05:03 AM

Quierda,
If its just hormones, then @ that age, a person is going to fall in love with any person of the opposite sex, (or the same sex in some cases) that he or she has acess to. So it all comes down to this.
Love:
Isn't some divine thing. according to Science, its just the work of certain chemicals, that make a person feel certain things towards another.
And that could be felt towards anyone, unless the other individual is just crazy, or wierd for whatever reason. And in arrainged marraiges the rate of divorce is less because bot families are involved in the marraige, so the couple tend to work it out. So I think that Arranged marraiges are better, just for the rate of divorces.

**Sathya** · 24th November 2004, 05:04 AM

Then what is love? If not a chemical reaction?

**hehehewalrus** · 24th November 2004, 05:07 AM

Querida,
In my view life is a bundle of compromises. Whether you choose ur wife or your parents chose her, you will definitely face clash of interests between you two, situations needing adjustment. Men and women are radically different and have different choices(cooking/playing, walking/driving, meditation/film songs etc)

Love marriage focuses on the fact that guy and girl are made for each other. Period. If you map 20 people from guy's side to 20 people from girl's side, other than bride and groom, no other pair would match

In an arranged marriage, they see the family background(wealth, education, way of life, attitudes, qualities etc). When a 10-15 members matches another set of 10-15 members, then it surely wont be such a difficult task for the guy/girl to adjust relative to each other.

And during the occasion that guy and girl are having a fight, these 30 come together to give emotional support and get them together again.
In a love marriage, there is every chance that the first fight will be the dividing fight - high probability of a big explosion.

**Querida** · 24th November 2004, 05:21 AM

as i said earlier

I dont think one has to dominate the other....i think the key is COMPROMISE....

i dont know about family intervening all the time...i know of couples being broken up just because the the family would not let the couple sort out their own problems....especially if one live's with the in-laws (whichever side) you are even less likely to get any support for your side....though I dont agree with the other extreme either...because of course your family loves you and even if you are partly to blame they are going to support you..if they didn't then it would only be seen by you as the utmost betrayal....