""LOVE MARRIAGE VS ARRANGE MARRIAGE:""

**blahblah** · 20th November 2004, 12:55 PM

Reena,probably there are more divorces in love marriages than arranged marriages.I feel this is because the arranged marriage lot are a lot more accomodating than the others who choose for themselves.You see ,they compromise even on their marriage and get married to any one their parents say.They will be ready to accept anything on their stride.

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**blahblah** · 20th November 2004, 12:58 PM

Nirosha,I think it was Cindy who said if there aren't hiccups in your marriage that means one of you is a dummy

.Believe me,it is there in every 'honest marriage'

,but where there is true love,little mistakes are forgotten and life flows as smooth as possible.

Go ahead!

**davie** · 20th November 2004, 06:40 PM

if indian culture becomes like that american culture, then thiink how india will be. I think we will be there in another 50 or 100 years.

**Sandeep** · 22nd November 2004, 11:28 PM

Where ever there are two people one person dominated the other at varrying degree. If both try to dominate their relation cannot go ahead. In case of marraiges it is usually the husband who dominates. The more educated and empowered the women become the less they accept domination from husband and so the relation breaks.

In case of love marraiges

1) women are usually more empowered (after all they had the will to go against thier parents).
2) Fight is always there but in arranged marraige elder people try to resolve it while in love marraige you are all to yourself.

**Reena** · 23rd November 2004, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by blahblah

Reena,probably there are more divorces in love marriages than arranged marriages.I feel this is because the arranged marriage lot are a lot more accomodating than the others who choose for themselves.You see ,they compromise even on their marriage and get married to any one their parents say.They will be ready to accept anything on their stride.

Good post. I agree.

**Querida** · 24th November 2004, 01:31 AM

Originally Posted by Sandeep

Where ever there are two people one person dominated the other at varrying degree. If both try to dominate their relation cannot go ahead. In case of marraiges it is usually the husband who dominates. The more educated and empowered the women become the less they accept domination from husband and so the relation breaks.

In case of love marraiges

1) women are usually more empowered (after all they had the will to go against thier parents).
2) Fight is always there but in arranged marraige elder people try to resolve it while in love marraige you are all to yourself.

Sandeep why are empowered women so threatning? Just because they will stand up for their rights does not mean they are still not able to be good wives....is it not better that one lets you have authority because they love and respect you rather than because they are afraid or forced to be so? I dont think one has to dominate the other....i think the key is COMPROMISE....

**xlntbarani** · 24th November 2004, 02:38 AM

love or arranged....
whatever it maybe ...
the problem and the solution is within the combination...
the circum may induce or may not ... but there is nothing to blame on the circum, men, women or any.

Its for sure, that the problem and the solution is within the minds.

The topic is enjoyable to argue... but wont find an end...!?

**Sandeep** · 24th November 2004, 02:50 AM

Originally Posted by Querida

Originally Posted by Sandeep

Where ever there are two people one person dominated the other at varrying degree. If both try to dominate their relation cannot go ahead. In case of marraiges it is usually the husband who dominates. The more educated and empowered the women become the less they accept domination from husband and so the relation breaks.

In case of love marraiges

1) women are usually more empowered (after all they had the will to go against thier parents).
2) Fight is always there but in arranged marraige elder people try to resolve it while in love marraige you are all to yourself.

Sandeep why are empowered women so threatning? Just because they will stand up for their rights does not mean they are still not able to be good wives....is it not better that one lets you have authority because they love and respect you rather than because they are afraid or forced to be so? I dont think one has to dominate the other....i think the key is COMPROMISE....

Your theory is right and it will work in the early year of marraige but then slowly the real 'fun' starts.

Am I wrong. Tell me married guys and gals

**Querida** · 24th November 2004, 04:01 AM

the only thing that worries me about arranged marriage is how since you have accepted someone and them you...that soon you will be taken for granted...i mean compatibility doesn't always mean compassion or companionship....
there are so many people who have kids together but they do not know the first thing about each other's subtle interests...i know that marriage cannot be solely based on knowing each others interests and opinions...i just don't know how people can share something so personal and yet be so detached as well...as to even see your spouse as a burden or annoyance or even as a competitor.