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Thread: ""LOVE MARRIAGE VS ARRANGE MARRIAGE:""

  1. #101
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber Querida's Avatar
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    yes i do agree with you....thanx for reinstating now it makes sense why you would not know....it is scary to think that you finish one another's thoughts and sentences..you get a feelings of loss of independence and you feel you are becoming predictable....i imagine that it is so much more pleasant when both want to give and take rather one alone...really i find that sometimes helping out in the house is much much more appreciated then say a gift. Even children learn from this...how many times have i seen neither child nor husband lift a finger while the mother is working away....i cannot say im the perfect child..i know at times i am lazy also..but i know that my father when he helps out it encourages us to do so as well...

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Querida
    Even children learn from this...how many times have i seen neither child nor husband lift a finger while the mother is working away....i cannot say im the perfect child..i know at times i am lazy also..but i know that my father when he helps out it encourages us to do so as well...
    You can say that again....again and again!

    ********
    SONU GOPI :P

  4. #103
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    sonu gopi's avatar is frightening

  5. #104
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    Marriage is related to personal life. Either it is love marriage or not it should be decided by self. Person will live more happily if he\she marries according to his\her wish.
    If we have done nothing wrong, we need not fear about criticisms of any one.
    Praveen Kumar Mandangi
    http://geocities.com/praveenmandangi...enmandangi.jpg

  6. #105
    Senior Member Senior Hubber nirosha sen's Avatar
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    God! Save us from all this naivete!!

  7. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by nirosha sen
    God! Save us from all this naivete!!
    Ja Niro,
    You call for me? Here I am. Why to save you from naivete? You can become serious later. I bless you a long term here on earth.

  8. #107
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber Querida's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mandangi
    Marriage is related to personal life. Either it is love marriage or not it should be decided by self. Person will live more happily if he\she marries according to his\her wish.
    as i have said before i think we should start to change this 'love marriage' label...say independent marriage...or self-arranged....because there are alot of ppl who are arranged who are in love and vice versa....why is that arranged marriage does not include love in it?

  9. #108
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    The concept of arranged marriage starts with the society influencing the need for a man & woman to match, live together, procreate all within the framework of the society. society could be defined as whatever you want - language, nationality and its numerous subdivisions. the pre requisites are a good family (start here), job (must for males), healthy individual &tastes and habits as defined.

    What is inculcated into the marriage is respect for each other, regard for each other's feelings and a willingness to adjust. All this are the heart and soul of a business called family.

    In the context of this, as time progresses, if love blossoms between the couple, that is an added bonus. In order to have a good marriage, love is not an essential ingredient. It definitely gives oomph to the situation and definitely nice to have.

  10. #109
    Senior Member Seasoned Hubber Sandeep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phantom363
    The concept of arranged marriage starts with the society influencing the need for a man & woman to match, live together, procreate all within the framework of the society. society could be defined as whatever you want - language, nationality and its numerous subdivisions. the pre requisites are a good family (start here), job (must for males), healthy individual &tastes and habits as defined.
    Are you saying marraige is only for procreation.

    Quote Originally Posted by phantom363
    What is inculcated into the marriage is respect for each other, regard for each other's feelings and a willingness to adjust. All this are the heart and soul of a business called family.
    The only profit from this business of marraige seems to be "children" and "Sex". Why should I putt up (adjust) will someone if I dont love her. Why shouldnt I leave someone if I can find somebody who is better in "procreation" and "sex".

    Quote Originally Posted by phantom363
    In the context of this, as time progresses, if love blossoms between the couple, that is an added bonus. In order to have a good marriage, love is not an essential ingredient. It definitely gives oomph to the situation and definitely nice to have.
    I will live with the bonus.

    Oh no I need the Basic pay part of the salary.

  11. #110
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber Querida's Avatar
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    Im sorry Phantom but your view is much too objective for my taste....i would think that even respect and care can be seen as a kind of love...i cannot think of living with someone happily and still not have some feelings for them....im sure there are many ways to live with someone unhappily as to tolerate them and condemn yourself to think ' it is my lot (veedhi) in life' ....but i dont know maybe because of growing up in a western world...i cannot think of the physical part of a relationship being possible without the emotional part of the relationship being there first....i think it is based on expectations...but anyone ever think how awful it would be to find out someone just tolerates them or has settled for them....i mean i dont think love has to be overly 'cinematic' ...it could just be a mutual, platonic sense of companionship...like how you love a friend i guess...if it cannot be more...

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