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3rd November 2004, 03:05 PM
#41
Senior Member
Regular Hubber
Be it arranged or love..that issue is only up to the day of marriage... the arranged one is hassle free (though not in all cases) and the the love marriage needs gutts and ability to convince those around (again, not in all cases...)
Then...after the day of ur wedding... it is all the same...
Life then depends on how understanding u are mutually, how much your care, how much respnsible you are ...etc..
Problems and pains would arise between any couple... be it love or arranged...
Then.. it depends how u solve it... I know so many who create jagdas for the way they end them up
if any couple claim that they never had a problem between... conclude that one among them is a dummy... take my word..
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3rd November 2004 03:05 PM
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4th November 2004, 01:03 PM
#42
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
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6th November 2004, 12:20 AM
#43
Senior Member
Seasoned Hubber
Originally Posted by
TamilenUir
"Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage"... Its like asking which is better... Being murdered or committing suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So in both cases you are dead
I agree those who said Arranged love marraige is best.
I would rate it as
1) Love first then have a arranged marraige (with same person).
2) Arranged marraige and then you start to love.
3) Love marraige.
4) Arranged marraige and then no love.
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6th November 2004, 06:16 AM
#44
Member
Junior Hubber
I find myself agreeing with arranged marraiges, eventhough thats the last thing that people would expect me to say. I think that I sould be able to pick things like my majour, etc, etc. but I would leave my marraige up to my parents.
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15th November 2004, 01:08 PM
#45
I don't know. I had an arranged marriage. He's good in many ways but not as Dynamic as I want him to be. For eg, he has not learned nor is ready to learn Driving. He does not take me for trips etc. But yes, he does not drink, smoke or womanise. So, I guess, one must be happy and contented, rite?
But I wish he learnt driving, so that we could at least go for small drives. Sigh!!! :-(
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16th November 2004, 09:22 AM
#46
Junior Member
Admin HubberNewbie HubberTeam HubberModerator HubberPro Hubber
Hello Veena Ji,
one thing is for sure, be it love or arranged marriage we will not get all that we expect. But with the right attitude, approach we can change things as we would like it to be - once again it is in our hands. If you expect some change from your huaband, first set an example yourself for him to oblige yours.
many times we order things in Hotel/ stores for things just for their looks - then we curse ourselves why the hell did I go for it. Love marriages belong to this category as for as I'am concerned.
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20th November 2004, 05:41 AM
#47
Senior Member
Regular Hubber
i posted in the other thread that if it becomes mandatory for everyone to first date then marry, then u know even indians will become so much superficial like those americans regarding marriage and divorce.
Love marriage is good, but there are always issues with it. example in my case the gal whom i liked was a hindu.
but everyone has some taste and liking. So love marriage is nice in this regard. we can also know each other better and accept or reject before doing marriage. I will prefer like 75% love marriage and 25% arranged marriage. On the other hand arranged marriage gets its own advantages like u get a special respect from all the relatives including brides and relatives. Searching for brides and bridegrooms itself becomes interesting. petty issues like what veena says cannot be eliminated even in love marriages, unless and until u love him for about 2 years and then marry.
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20th November 2004, 06:29 AM
#48
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Well, I could never fathom marrying total strangers as tasteful!! I mean in terms of background check, how much would anyone know of the prospective bride or groom???? Everything would be glossed over - from the broker, the respective families concerned, etc. Truth would take a backseat while a rosy picture is all you get from the start to the Muhurtham. So let's not kid ourselves abt the benefits of arranged marriages!!!!
The truth is Indians are an anal community! Anything that smacks of changes from the usual scenario is anathema to their minds! Besides to be honest, arranged marriages are really abt one set of parents who wish to be hitched to another!!! It isn't even abt the couple concerned. It's quite simply a natural violation of their rights, usurped by parents and other elders who think they can decide the young ones' future!
Sorry, if I sound too scathing, but we Indians have too many hang-ups like castes, looks, lingual groups, etc that makes it difficult for an individual to take time to get know people of the other gender!!! Somebody else has to make the decisions even if we are adult enough to do it by ourselves!!
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20th November 2004, 07:49 AM
#49
Member
Junior Hubber
Nirosha,
But isn't it true that there are more divorce cases in Love marraiges then arranged? So don't marriages seem to work more often when its arranged? Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to argue with you, these are just my thoughts.
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20th November 2004, 10:14 AM
#50
Senior Member
Senior Hubber
Reena, generally many Indian marriages work, be they arranged or not! It's simply because culturally, we women are brought up to be Nurturers! So be it a chosen husband for us or we exercised the right to chose our spouses independantly, we are equally loving as wives, lovers and mums!
No, I'm not offended you spoke up! It's good we are all sharing our 2 sen worth.
I love my husband! I chose him and stayed by him and bore 2 kids! So no matter what, our marriage has its usual hiccups now and then, but we are generally okay!
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