A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

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Topic started by Shakthi (@ bangdp-34-109.mantraonline.com) on Fri Jun 28 08:16:15 .




Laughing is considered almost like an alternative therapy to cure most diseases. Its an answer to most of our health problems. Lets post healthy jokes and share our joy.

Any no of jokes per day is welcome. plz post decent jokes only.

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These are couplets taken from the rhymezone site where there's this competition for writing
the most romantic first line and most unromantic second..here are a few of the entries..

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?
BOY : Were you away?

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
BOY : What time was it?

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...

1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple?

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?


Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something, It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

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Come on ppl! Post ur jokes. Lets laugh worries away!

sincerely,
shakthi.

All posts from this topic have been archived here: http://www.mayyam.com/hub/archives/M...tor_away_.html

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Old responses

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tt,
"Tere baap ka naukar hooon kya?????"
means
"Am I your father's servant?"

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pavazhamani maam,

)

that was hilarious!

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Here are some Surd's
1. Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside when the American said "Oh, look at the dead bird." Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said "Where, where?"

2. Surd#1 : What is the difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Surd#2 : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!

3. Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?" "That fellow called back."

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Contd..

4. There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the funeral are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if it's a marriage baarat. So one of them asks jugnu Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?"...comes the reply, "Haan ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar “BRAIN” tumour se mara hai…

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Contd..

5. There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the funeral are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if it's a marriage baarat. So one of them asks jugnu Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?"...comes the reply, "Haan ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar “BRAIN” tumour se mara hai…Sardarji bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car to office. On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened the door and got down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, 'How much should I pay to turn right?'

The Policeman was astonished and asked, 'Why are you asking like this?

Then Sardarji showed him the signboard, which was in the corner of the road - “Free Left Turn”

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Contd..

6. A passerby watched two sardarjis in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again. Tell me,' said the passerby, What on earth are you doing? Well, said the digger, Usually there are three of us. I dig the hole, Balwant plants the tree saplings and Gurpreet fills in the hole. Today Balwant is off ill, but that doesn't mean Gurpreet and I get the day off, does it?

7. Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago. "Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely. "Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet
of the butter “Cholesterol free”.

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This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by
people from various parts of World. This is English at its best..!

1. A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an
accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years
and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.

2. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife.
Please sanction me one-week leave.

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3. Another employee applied for half-day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return,
please grant me half day casual leave".
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today".
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school".
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
7. A covering note, "I am enclosed herewith...
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept:
As my Mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please
grant me 10 days leave.
9. Letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at
home I may be granted leave".