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Thread: Good Advice

  1. #11
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do by Michael Lee .

    NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.
    Yup. They see problems in every opportunity.
    They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.
    They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.
    Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.
    They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

    NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.
    They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.
    Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.
    Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.
    They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

    NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen
    They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.
    Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.
    When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.
    In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

    NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily
    Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.
    Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.
    At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.
    Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

    NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level
    Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.
    They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

    NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time
    They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.
    It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

    NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out
    If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.
    They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.
    What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.
    If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.
    Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

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  3. #12
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber Querida's Avatar
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    Anger is a silent killer. Here are some basic dos and don'ts to keep in mind when you are feeling angry:

    Do speak up when an issue is important to you.

    Obviously, we do not have to address personally every injustice and irritation that comes along. To simply let something go can be an act of maturity. But it is a mistake to stay silent if the cost is to feel bitter, resentful or unhappy. We de-self ourselves when we fail to take a stand on issues that matter to us.

    Don't strike while the iron is hot.

    A good fight will clear the air in some relationships, but if your goal is to change an entrenched pattern, the worst time to speak up may be when you are feeling angry or intense. If your fires start rising in the middle of a conversation, you can always say, "I need a little time to sort my thoughts out. Let's set up another time to talk about it more." Seeking temporary distance is not the same as cold withdrawal or an emotional cutoff.

    Do take time out to think and clarify your position.
    Before you speak out, ask yourself the following questions: What is it about the situation that makes me angry? What is the real issue here? Where do I stand? What do I want to accomplish? Who is responsible for what? What, specifically, do I want to change? What are the things I will and will not do?

    Don't use "below-the-belt" tactics.
    These include: blaming, interpreting, diagnosing, labeling, analyzing, preaching, moralizing, ordering, warning, interrogating, ridiculing and lecturing.

    Do speak in "I" language.
    Learn to say, "I think..." "I feel... "I fear..." "I want..." A true "I" statement says something about the self without criticizing or blaming the other person and without holding the other person responsible for our feelings or reactions. Watch out for disguised "you" statements or pseudo"I" statements. ("I think you are controlling and self-centered.")

    Don't make vague requests.
    ("I want you to be more sensitive to my needs.")
    Let the other person know specifically what you want. ("The best way you can help me now is simply to listen. I really don't want advice at this time.") Don't expect people to anticipate your needs or do things that you have not requested. Even those who love you can't read your mind.

    Do try to appreciate the fact that people are different.
    We move away from fused relationships when we recognize that there are as many ways of seeing the world as there are people in it. If you're fighting about who has the "truth," you may be missing the point. Different perspectives and ways of reacting do not necessarily mean that one person is "right" and the other "wrong."

    Don't tell another what they think or feel or "should" think or feel. If another person gets angry in reaction to a change you make, don't criticize their feelings or tell them they have no right to be angry. Better to say, "I understand that you're angry, and if I were in your shoes, perhaps I'd be angry too. But I've thought it over and this is my decision." Remember that one person's right to be angry does not mean that the other person is to blame.

    Don't participate in intellectual arguments that go nowhere. Don't spin your wheels trying to convince others of the "rightness" of your position. If the other person is not hearing you, simply say, "Well, it may sound crazy to you, but this is how I feel." Or, "I understand that you disagree, but I guess we see the problem differently."

    Do try to avoid speaking through a third party.
    If you are angry with your brother's behavior, don't say, "I think my daughter felt terrible when you didn't find the time to come to her school play." Instead try "I was upset when you didn't come. You're important to me and I really wanted you to be there."

    Don't expect change to come about from hit-and-run confrontations. Change occurs slowly in close relationships. If you make even a small change, you will be tested many times to see if you .really mean it." Don't get discouraged if you fall on your face several times as you try to put theory into practice. You may find that you start out fine but then blow it when things heat up. Getting derailed is just part of the process, so be patient with yourself. You will have many opportunities to get back on track...and try again.

  4. #13
    Senior Member Regular Hubber aravindhan's Avatar
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    அறம் செய விரும்பு.
    ஆறுவது சினம்.
    இயல்வது கரவேல்.
    ஈவது விலக்கேல்.
    உடையது விளம்பேல்.
    ஊக்கமது கைவிடேல்.
    எண் எழுத்து இகழேல்.
    ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி.
    ஐயம் இட்டு உண்.
    ஒப்புரவு ஒழுகு.
    ஓதுவது ஒழியேல்.
    ஔவியம் பேசேல்.

    Old and simple words of advice, but beautiful still.

  5. #14
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    THE SOLUTIONS TO LIFE'S 10 Biggest Problems

    Every day clients tell me about their problems, often in great detail, and I've noticed patterns that show up over and over. For many people, life's problems are viewed as "not enough money" or "not enough time".
    For couples, the problems are often around "communication" or "parenting" . They think if they only had more money or more time or a better job, things would be wonderful.

    But it doesn't work that way, because these things are not the BIG PROBLEM. From my experience, I suggest life's really big problems are:

    1. Tunnel Vision. The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot.Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are.

    The solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?

    2. Fear. The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed.

    The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?

    3. Confusion. The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don't know our own priorities anymore.

    The solution: Responsible Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!

    4. Guilt. The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment.Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion.

    The solution: If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.

    5. Shame. The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done
    something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong.

    The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.

    6. Loneliness. The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy.

    The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.

    7. Resentment. Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as "victims", nurturing a terrible event in their past.

    The solution: Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.

    8. Self-Doubt. The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through.

    The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through. Start small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your
    life! Use your wisdom to live well.

    9. Stubbornness. The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong.

    The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.

    10. Addiction. Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them.

    The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do "right". Use habits and traditions to set you free, don't let habits enslave you!


    By Dr. Philip E. Humbert
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  6. #15
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.


    When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.


    The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."


    Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


    When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.


    If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.


    I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"


    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!


    Living well really is the best revenge.


    Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.


    Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.


    Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  7. #16
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    FROM A FATHER TO HIS SON'S TEACHERS

    "He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just and are not true. But teach him if you can, the wonder of books.. but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hillside. In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat.....

    Teach to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him he is wrong.

    Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

    Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when
    everyone getting on the bandwagon...

    Teach him to listen to all men; but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good that comes through.

    Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad...

    Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to be beware of too much sweetness.. Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to highest bidders, but never to put a price on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob.. and stand and fight if thinks he is right.

    Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the best of fire makes fine steel. Let him have the courage to be impatient.. Let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will have faith in humankind.

    This is a big order, but see what you can do. .

    He is such a fine little fellow my son!

    - Abraham Lincoln
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  8. #17
    Administrator Platinum Hubber NOV's Avatar
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    1. Don't think of problems as difficulties.
    Think of them as opportunities for action.

    2. After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome.
    Forget it and go onto the next thing..

    3. Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, sleep.
    Don't allow yourself time for abstract thinking.

    4. Don't concern yourself with things you can't do anything about.
    Armchair generals don't win battles, but they do have nervous breakdowns.

    5. For the time being anyway, eliminate daydreaming completely.
    Stop building air castles.

    6. Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now, brother, do it now.

    7. Don't pour woes and anxieties to other people. You don't want their sympathy...it'll merely make it easy for you to feel sorrier for yourself.

    8. Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you could in actual accomplishment of the day's work.

    9. Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry.
    Hurry, a blood brother to worry, helps shatter poise and self-confidence, and contributes to fear and anxiety.

    10. If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps-link rungs in a ladder...one at a time. And don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one.
    Never argue with a fool or he will drag you down to his level and beat you at it through sheer experience!

  9. #18
    Senior Member Seasoned Hubber Arthi's Avatar
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    HOW A SON/DAUGHTER THINKS OF HIS/HER DADDY AT DIFFERENT AGES:

    At 4 Years
    My daddy is great.


    At 6 Years
    My daddy knows everybody.

    At 10 Years
    My daddy is good but is short tempered

    At 12 Years
    My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.

    At 14 Years
    My daddy is getting fastidious.

    At 16 Years
    My daddy is not in line with the current times.

    At 18 Years
    My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

    At 20 Years
    Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.

    At 25 Years
    Daddy is objecting to everything.

    At 30 Years
    It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.

    At 40 Years
    Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.

    At 45 Years
    I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

    At 50 Years
    My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.

    At 55 Years
    My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.

    At 60 Years
    My daddy is great.


    Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st. stage.
    Realise the true value of your parents before its too late.


    I realised u?
    Sarva dharman parithyajya mamekam sharanam vraja, aham thva sarvapapebhyo mokshayishyami ma suchaha

  10. #19
    Senior Member Platinum Hubber Shakthiprabha.'s Avatar
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    A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $ 100 note.

    In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $ 100 note?".

    Hands started going up.

    He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.". He proceeded to crumple the note up.

    He then asked, "Who still wants it?".

    Still the hands were up in the air.

    "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?".
    And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

    "Now who still wants it?"

    Still the hands went into the air.

    "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
    No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $ 100/-.

    Many times in ur lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

    We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

    You are special Don't ever forget it!

    Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

  11. #20
    Senior Member Veteran Hubber
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    WOW!!!... That was an excellent piece of advice, SP...
    “The real contest is always between what you've done and what you're capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.” - Geoffrey Gaberino

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