insulting behaviour

[j.chenkalvarayan]

hi all,
this thread will put an end to the agonising search for a suitable witty riposte when insults are heaped upon you.or you might just decide that you have to retort
stingingly . then how to go about doing that. this thread will help you. these are selected excerpts from comical books:


how to be insulting with actions: insults that prove that deeds can speak as loud , if not louder than words.how to make yourself infuriating without even opening your mouth, or two fingers.

how to be insulting in banks:

if there isn't a queue , form one by asking the cashier as many questions as you can think of until people behind you get fed up and either go out or move to another window.

arrive at the bank without your cheque book. ask to draw out some cash . forget your account number. give a wrong name. have difficulty in finding any proof of your identity. and do all this either when there's lunch time rush of customers , or just the bank is about to close

try to use one of the automatic cash dispensers , but use it incorrectly. kick the machine and try to open it with your car keys , a pen knife or even your umbrella

if you are hauled in to see the manager arrive with your solicitor or a large dog.

take a tape recorder with you to the meeting with your manager. say nothing the entire time ,but simply record all he says to you. the when he's finished play it back at twice the speed and leave.

eat a raw onion ,or garlic if you can stand it, and try to breathe as close to the cashier as you can while you write your cheque.

when making a deposit use as many forms as you dare, by making mistakes or spilling ink.

if you can manage to spill ink , try to do it on floor as well as the desk and tear sheets of blotting paper from the pads provided.