Violence against women

[pavalamani pragasam]

Violence against Women

One news item in today’s newspaper caught my attention and has set me thinking. It was an announcement in connection with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women observed on November 25th.
While appreciating the magnanimous purpose for observing such a day I could hear a feeble voice from the group of hen-pecked husbands and “jilted” lovers requesting a day be set aside for elimination of violence against men. I could not help recalling the evergreen favourite comedy scenes in TV channels of Kovai Sarala thrashing Vadivelu.
But my random ruminations led me finally to certain discoveries.
On a serious note, I remembered those gallant knights of Sir Arthur’s Round Table. The dearth of such GENTLEMEN is accutely felt today, there is no doubt about it. How lucky were those “damsels in distress” of those bygone days! Today ghastly molestations can take place in public places right in front of an audience.
Why is such violence prevalent against women? Let us leave alone the primitive races living in the deep jungles of Africa. But in today’s global context of many enlightened races interacting electronically how do we account for its presence everywhere?
This is a deep subject for research and reparation. Why are women subjected to acts of violence? And by whom? It is not at all fair that the “fair sex” should suffer in the hands of unfair men, unfairly thought of as the stronger sex.
Ever since the days of creation Eve has been thought of as Adam’s toy. The Adam kid has never grown up. He is becoming more and more wicked. The cunning male tires not improvising methods of harassing the hapless female. Is it a fault of the hormones?
Male domination provided way for chauvinistic practices keeping women as second-grade citizens down the ages. In the early stages of civilisation societal customs were rather crude. Refinement came with the passage of time. Gross injustices to women were rectified. Sati was abolished. Child marriages were made illegal. Social stigma attached to widowhood was removed. Widows found the climate changing in favour of their remarriage. Domestic violence and eve-teasing became punishable crimes. The ignominious dowry system came under the stern scrutiny of law. Yet, violence against women continues.
The free globe-trotting modern woman is educated, enlightened and self-supporting. Still the respect that is her due is eluding. Why? How many men support the women achievers ungrudgingly? How is it the male ego just refuses to accept the fact of gender equality?
In such a scenario I strongly believe the Media plays the villain. It corrodes the good values that are necessary for happy, healthy human interaction. Instead of arriving at higher levels of regard and respect for man’s complementary part ie woman, man gropes in his short-sighted vision of woman as an entity of mere flesh and blood, stripped of intelligence and integrity.
His predicament is highly aggravated by the Mammonaic Media. The treacherous Media throws too many baits in front of woman’s vanity, its cunning guiles seek to shroud her in veils of obscenity. She has succumbed, an unsuspecting prey forgetting her native sensitivity and propriety. Mistaken goals have paved the way to her pain and loss.
If she must overcome violence against her she must find her moorings, meaningful ambitions and undying values. She must outwit the vicious, multi-headed Media demon and prove her worth. Awake woman! Awake!

[Hemant Trived1]

Dear Friends,

One thing I really hate about Tamil Movies is, ALL MALES INCLUDING HERO , VILLAIN TO COMEDIANS SLAP WOMEN.

I am always pained when women are slapped in movies. Most of you might have observed this thing.

It is high time people come out in open condemning this sort of treatment of women in Tamil movies.

Machoness has to be limited to beating the villains and anti-socials.
AND NOT WOMEN .

YATRA NARYASTU PUJYATE
TATRA VASANTI DEVATA.

[nirosha sen]

Violence isn't just confined to physical abuse alone but the day to day mental and verbal abuse that many women go thru. It happens in most households and it reduces the stoutest heart to a quivering, suffering mess!! It is this constant beratement that is distasteful and yet it continues in all strata of society ......

[Sandeep]

In a movie hero breaks a fish pot and the fish is shown flapping. Another scene he slaps his wife. There was huge outcry about the first scene but nothing about the second scene.

Its a shame that we who consider women as Shakthi treat them like this. And women also are responcible for being silent about the suffering of fellow women.

More alarming is the fact that many of these domestic violence happen even among highly educated couples.

[blahblah]

Pavalamani says the new women is educated and self supporting.Sandeep says violence happens even amongst the well educated.And both statements are true.The only difference being the educated woman is more likely to stand up against violence.These social goals can only be achieved by education and awareness.See the Tamil movies,as Hemantji pointed out,where it appears a bit more manly to beat up his wife .And I remember my mother telling me the day before my marriage that a real man doesn't beat his wife taking advantage of the extra physical power given to us by God to protect our women .And she even warned me that if I ever did it she will be the one who will take me to the cops.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Congratulations, blahblah! You are a MAN in the right sense of the word! Your mother should be proud of you. My thanks to her!

[Sandeep]

We need more mothers like blahblah's and ofcource men like him. I, sure, am encouraged.

But as society whats the solution. Education helps ok, it would help solve almost all the social problems, but that is taking a hell lot of time. Unless people feel that they are not going to get away with any such behavior no immediate solution can be found. Like in blahblah's case he knows his mother will not let him get away

[Gayathri]

Cant agree more!! The state of woman in tamil movies is awful! she is more of a sex symbol. There arent many tamil movies where woman are portrayed clever and intelligent. But movies are not the only place to some extent movies do reflect the true state of woman in India.

I got married a year ago. My mother-in-law lives next door to her elder sister and family. My mother-in laws sister has a son and he is married too. When we went to visit them next door I noticed some thing strange the daughter in law of the house sat on the floor while we were all sat on the sofa. Me not realising the situation grabbed her by hand and asked her to sit next to me but she still would'nt sit on the sofa. When we came back home my MIL told me that she is not allowed to sit on the sofa, while her MIL is sat on it, and she added that the daughter in law was a very respectful person. But I found it very offensive. Why cant she sit on the sofa? why does she need to sit on the floor? isnt this also a form of violence?

[NOV]

It is so heartwarming to read what the men of this forum have written. With the respect they give to their women-folk, this trait will be carried on to the next generation and soon we will have mutual respect between both sexes.

Gayathri's episode is terrible. Unfortunately, women tend to be thier own enemies. Sad.

[Sandeep]

Gayathri you can use your relation with your MIL (which seems to be great) as an example. I am sure your MIL will help you in this. May be you have the chance to change someones life.