Does your child believe in God?

[Cinefan]

http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2005/mar/01zelda.htm

I read an interesting article on the above subject.Hubbers can post their experiences with chidren here.

[Cygnus]

Thanks for the article cinefan. I think the author is pretty confused about her own identity (agnostic hindu??!!) that it is difficult for her to explain her position to her child. I would say the nontheistic parent can explain to the child that religious faith is an analytical decision that one is entitled to explore and figure out on one's own.

From the nontheistic point of view, I would like to hear what Rohit and r_kk have to say about this

On the other hand, talking to a child about god from the believer's point of view, a question to all hubbers - if you are a believer and subscribe to a religion, do you dictate your children what to believe in or tell them what you believe in , expose them to other religions and help them make an informed decision?

[Cinefan]

Cygnus,
I have a question which has been in my mind for quite some time,"What makes a child a believer/non-believer?"I have seen from experiences within my family where a couple have been great believers,their children have followed them but the third generation has displayed complete arrogance,apathy towards God,religion,faith,rituals etc.In fact their disinterest is so high that you can't engage them even in a meaningful discussion on this subject.Why does this happen?Why is there no influence of parents/family habits on them?Any answers?

[Cygnus]

Disillusionment?!!!

Cinefan, I am a non-dogmatic atheist myself and I don't think that my parents or relatives had NO influence on me when I decided to step out of their religious bind. Indeed, they had a LOT to do with my freethought -both positively and negatively.

I don't adapt a dogmatic stance in telling people what and what not to believe in, primarily because, any blind following of a concept, without the basic understanding of the whys and hows, is bound to be demystified one way or another. I think that for children, it is of utmost importance to explore and understand the variegations of the concept of 'faith'. It would be curbing their growth in shoving religion down their throats, so theists and nontheists alike should step back and let children find their own answers.

[Badri]

so theists and nontheists alike should step back and let children find their own answers.

Ok, so where do you start? Or rather when do you start to step back?

Do you wait till your child has grown up enough to be able to understand

a) The religion of its parents
b) The religions that exist in the world
c) The concept of no religion

and then step back? Fine, but what till then?

Suppose say the parents Mr Father and Mrs Mother are firm believers, but are willing to be open-minded about the choices of their son Child. What would they do?

Children at a certain age are apt to imitate what the parents do. So, most likely Child is going to worship or imitate worship. So, do Father and Mother encourage it/discourage it?

And how do you expect Child to start finding answers for himself? He is most likely to ask Father and Mother. So, what are F&M supposed to do then? Are they supposed to say, "Listen Child, if I answer you, you will be influenced one way or the other. Perhaps you should post your questions to Forumhub and then decide?"

I think allowing children to decide on certain things like this is a load of codswallop, with due respect to all others of a different opinion.

When the child grows into an adult, he/she is free to make their own choices, but till then, parents cannot but help pass on their own belief systems to the children. It is part of the home culture that the child is bound to pick up, no matter what you do. And when they have grown enough to be able to make their own choices, nothing what you say or do will help, for they'd have made their choices anyway.

[Roshan]

Badri,

[Cygnus]

Badri, your retort sounds emotionally influenced. Obviously, I didn't mean that one should tell a 2 year old, 'look make your own choice about religion'. It is one's own judgment how one would raise their kid. Perhaps, I should have phrased it as, it shouldn't be perceived as a bad thing if the children make different choices about religion than what the parents would try to instill in them. It is MY opinion and I am entitled to that much.

"Perhaps you should post your questions to Forumhub and then decide?"

Well, if FH weren't a place to derive opinions from you wouldn't voice yours here, would you?

[Badri]

Cygnus: I was being anything but emotional!! Here I am thinking I am being cool and logical...but never mind!!


I agree with you, and a lot of forward thinkers would too that we should be willing to accept the choices our children make when they are ready and mature enough to. The operative phrase here being when they are ready and mature enough to. The only thing I wanted to really say ( I know I ended up saying more than that) was that no matter what, we cannot help influencing the beliefs, values and thoughts of our children.

[Cinefan]

Cygnus,sbadri99,Both of you have come up with good logical arguments but my question was:On what basis do children(after a particular age)form their opinions?Do they discuss at home,do they read books,do they attend discourses-the answer for all the above questions is a BIG NO.If parents are believers,then the children blindly oppose it without giving it any thought.As I said earlier,it's difficult to even have a logical discussion with them on this subject.under these circumstances,how can parents allow children to make their choices when mind has not been applied when making it.Personally speaking,there was a phase in my life 7 to 8 years back when I hated going to temples(mainly because of the crowd,distance) but at that time my father wisely refrained from forcing things on me.Instead he engaged me on discussions about life,death,philosophy,vedas etc.he read a lot of books&made it a point to expain the gist of that to me.Now,I am the first to go the temple on any given special day What i am trying to say is that parents should not force these things on their children esp in the adolescent age but today's generation has utter contempt for all these things&they make no effort to even find out more.

[scorpio]

Cinefan,

For a child, the parents are the first role-models. They imitate what we do. After they are mature enough to understand, their outlook does undergo a change on certain things. Even if they seem less pious, if they believe in one superpower called 'God', it is fine and they need not enforce it by visiting temples daily or chanting slokas. Their belief in the very existence of God is sure to make then very much conscious of their conscience (mana-saatchi) and will prevent them from going the wrong way.

Maximum, by force, we can make children eat what is good for them, beyond that, force seldom works.