A shame

[Badri]

Well summarized, JG. As Obelix would say, "Zigackly!"

[scorpio]

Badri / JG,

Read thru' your posts. Very well written. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Q, Your point on something that is kept out of reach becoming attractive is also very true from child's point of view. I too have that fear in me that even if I prohibit, my daughter will anyway learn from school friends. I make it a point to spend time in the night to ask her about what all happened in school. I do ask about what lessons teachers took in each period and also how did she get along with her friends. At times, she does tell me bizarre incidents like Love letters written by one boy in the class ( she is in Class 6, a bit early for all this nonsense) to another, what make-up items ( like compact, lip stick etc) some girls bring to class etc. I try my best to address such issues, the risk of one's future getting spoilt if you take schooling lightly and also tell her how to handle such situations as she has an additional responsibility of being the class leader as well.

Once, she herself was a victim of such bullying with short love verses written in the girl's toilet in her name. She was bold enough to ignore it, inform the teachers to erase it from the walls and wonder with me at the ignorance of a boy whose identity was unknown to us.

I think we should have a separate thread to discuss issues of parenting. After all, today's children build the nation tomorrow!

[jaiganes]

Haaa! scorpio!
you have inadvertently brought up another player in the whole drama. It is the school. We hear a lot of disturbing noises about school these days. Again as most of the modern day kids are TV parented and "friends" parented these days, even a small insult or rebuke from teachers (who try to discipline) in front of their peers drives them to extreme feeling of guilt and shame. This was not the case in our days. I hold the record for inviting maximum number of cane beatings on my knuckles when I was in school. These days however, co-ed schools have risen while TV is still busy creating romantic images of a boy and a girl. This means that schools have to adopt sensitive methods of disciplining erring kids. Maybe in private a teacher can "teach" an erring kid a lesson.eg., I got a tight slap from my Chemistry teacher once. Later he realised his mistake and apologized to me. Everything was cool between us as nothing got out. However failing to do so, these super sensitive kids who are not taught the fraility and reality of real life by elders take extreme steps like suicide. It is another pathetic story that certain parents themselves take the teacher in question into task by getting him/her dismissed, arrested and humiliated. Not to say that teachers are completely honest, but a bad apple is expected to pop up here and there.

[pavalamani pragasam]

I second Scorpio's opinion! Badri, I find no words to appreciate your words of wisdom. They are very familiar to mine. I thought I am a pathetic singular upholder for some important codes of life for children & adults. I admire the clarity, the confidence with which you have expressed the views which I repeat are surprisingly cent percent similar to mine. kudos for a fine job done! And jaiganes, I am proud to hear your golden words of practical wisdom. I had almost derspaired the world has has sunk to utter ruins! But now I feel rejuvenated, energy-boosted, to have so many sensible people around, willing to set the minds on the right track. Thanx, everybody!

[Roshan]

Excellent views by every one !! kudos guys !!!

[blahblah]

I make it a point to spend time in the night to ask her about what all happened in school. I do ask about what lessons teachers took in each period and also how did she get along with her friends. I try my best to address such issues

Scorpio,I can see a great mother in you since I have seen another one.

Troubled marital lives and abnormal parental behaviour are the main reasons,according to me, for juvenile crimes.Take almost all cases of juvenile crimes and there will be a history of alcoholism,drug addiction,adultery,divorce,domestic violence or cruelty.Most parents do not spend enough time for their children these days.If a family was to form his character, today that role is taken up by the media.The good old habit of reading is almost extinct.

The factory of character is not school,not at all school,but family.I have seen real thugs in the best schools .Are they to be blamed if your child goes astray?Not at all.

IT IS THE LOVE AND SHARING BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE THAT EDUCATES THEIR CHILDREN -NOT SCHOOL BOOKS,NOT THE TEACHERS.

A little mind learns from examples,not from creative thinking.The urge to imitate, rules supreme over the urge to think.That's why they want to be a Policeman when they see one and Engine Driver when they see him.

So give them enough examples.

[jaiganes]

blahblah wrote:

NOT SCHOOL BOOKS,NOT THE TEACHERS.

I agree with you partially. But with nuclear families and both parents working, an adolscent child gets to spen more time at school with classmates and teachers. If teachers can be shrewd and responsible, they can solve so many of the child'd problems. They can act as active catalysts to young minds. Have seen the movie "Pay it Forward", for godsake it was a true story. I have seen such stories happen in real life where a kid born into a difficult household has been guided by a responsible teacher.

[Sandeep]

Parents are finding difficulty in managing one or two kids then how can teachers to do that for 40 or 50 students in class. Yes incidents of teachers helping students are there but there is a limit to what they can do.

Sure teachers can be role models and they should be but at the end every boy want to be like his father and daughter like her mother.

I still remember a coversation with my late father when I was 8. Influenced by some movie I asked my father why he doesnt do some financial scam in some purchase he was doing. I dont remember what he said but I know such things are BAD. No amount of education or preaching is going to bring that kind of effect.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Schooling as seen in these days, the syllabus, the temperament of the teachers(utter lack of dedication for the profession as was seen in the past), the goal of education- a vast ocean for discussion and pouring agonizing grievances!!! No moral science, civics, physical instruction periods allotted in the time table of today’s school children; the syllabus is oriented for academic knowledge of a narrow circle devoid of compulsory practical, vocational training of whatever sort; teachers indifferent to explain their subject which they scheme to teach to those who will take private tuitions under them after school hours; the rat race for securing seat in professional colleges; the cut-off mark for the entrance exams to these courses chasing them like spectres; parents goading them, treating them like racehorses, sending them off to coaching classes depriving their wards of sufficient sleep, relaxed moments of friendly interaction, family recreation, beneficial physical activity, enlightening mental activity; a totally edgy situation where the students find no way to blossom naturally, no harmless, healthy channels for venting their natural effervescence- this is a mind-boggling scenario, a real, tough challenge for those sincerely wishing for the good of the young generation.

[nirosha sen]

Oh my God Pava!!! You just described the exact same situation we have here in Malaysia, Pa!!!!

Out here it's racism thrown in as well which makes it even more difficult for minority race children to receive better guidance. Religion is the other bone of contention!! Through this haze of indifference, a child indeed has to be born a genius to sift thru the good, bad and ugly to come out unscathed, Pa!!