A shame

[pavalamani pragasam]

Here is the editorial in today’s(May 15, 2005) “The New Sunday Express”:

Battling rape

“Everyday we read stories on some crime or the other committed against women. Rape is of course the ultimate crime. One cannot make any excuses for rape or the rapist. Which is why one is outraged when a political party actually says that women should avoid dressing provocatively. Otherwise they will invite rape.

“India, which has now taken moral policing very seriously, is possibly the most double-faced country when it comes to ill-treating women. The country’s capital, New Delhi, is a place where no woman can feel safe. Even Mumbai-considered the safest city in the country-had its reputation tarnished when a policeman raped a young woman inside the police post recently. Eve-teasing too is rampant in large and small cities. Our men still tend to behave as though they have never seen a woman before when they confront them in public places.

“The statistics are horrendous. According to women’s groups, two women are raped every hour in India. In spite of some recent high-profile cases, most rapists go scot-free. Again, who are the victims? They are mostly maidservants, migrant labourers, and those who are under-privileged and cannot protest. So what has wearing provocative clothing got to do with rape? Look at most working women standing in the bus stops or taking trains in the metros. They don’t wear scanty clothes. Their official dress code insists on formal wear. Even women working in the so-called glamorous industries are in trousers or ‘salwar kameezes’, fully covered. Most educational institutions also do not allow students to dress as they please.

“Rape is not about being provoked by a woman. Rape is in fact the most violent attack on a woman. To arrest this menace, gender sensitizing should begin at an early age, even in school, in this still largely patriarchal country. Political leaders should command their cadres to respect women, instead of making statements condoning a vile crime.”

Now let us look at this matter without giving importance to the “moral policing” act of any political party. Women in our country have been brought up on modest dress code. There are reasons other than cultural for it. It is a scientifically believable fact that different climes make people react differently to sensual enticements. A hotter country like India with the air strong with exotic fragrances men’s senses are easily excited, aroused to desire. So our forefathers wanted to prevent moral chaos consequent to unbridled passion by advocating women to dress with modesty. In order to help men handle the riot of hormones better women were recommended to show responsibility by not dressing provocatively.

In this age of global communication and easy access to various cultures and fashions of the world men of our country especially the youth need to be educated and guided about their reactions to and respect for the opposite sex. A powerful tool we have to serve this purpose- the MEDIA. But alas, the very same MEDIA is the root cause for all that is horrid happening to women.

The editorial clearly says with truth: “Look at most working women standing in the bus stops or taking trains in the metros. They don’t wear scanty clothes. Their official dress code insists on formal wear. Even women working in the so-called glamorous industries are in trousers or ‘salwar kameezes’, fully covered. Most educational institutions also do not allow students to dress as they please.” Then how do the sexual maniacs get perverted, what makes them unleash their wickedness on hapless girls and women in their vicinity? If no woman or girl in real life, in the day-to-day encounters dresses provocatively, who does?

The answer is clear as writing on the wall. The model girls in advertisements, the ramp shows/beauty pageants, in cinema, in the small screen offer an unstinting feast of flesh and skin. The percentage of exposed skin differs marginally from each other. It is purely commercial. All for making money- the business houses and the exposing girls.

Coming to the point, today’s adolescent boys and pervert, sensuous male adults are greatly aroused by what they see in the printed media and visual media. The titillation for many must find consummation. Who are the easy victims, who fall prey inescapably? “They are mostly maidservants, migrant labourers, and those who are under-privileged and cannot protest.”

“pazi Or idam paavam Or idam”. Somebody commits a wrong, somebody else pays the price. Violence against women can hope to get mitigated only when the MEDIA stops pandering to the male hormones voluptuous feasts as it is doing now with gay abandon.

The MEDIA is a villain, a serpent under the grass. It corrupts the minds of the present generation which is passing through inevitable lifestyle changes. Changes should not make us stray from guidelines judiciously, beneficially drawn out for us by our ancestors.

[Nichiro]

Hello PP Madam,

I write these things in my novel and I receive flak from people. You have given me support which still keeps me optimistic to complete the novel.

Nichiro

[Nichiro]

The MEDIA is a villain, a serpent under the grass. It corrupts the minds of the present generation which is passing through inevitable lifestyle changes. Changes should not make us stray from guidelines judiciously, beneficially drawn out for us by our ancestors.

I dont know but PP Madam, I was thinking the same thing couple of days back.
TV Channels which cry crocodile tears over incidents of rape devote hours on the incidence.
Same channel transmits programmes which depict likes of Pooja Bedi and other girls interviewing people (Where the cleavage of the dress tries to reach the bottom and the hem of her dress falls precariously short of reaching her underwear.
Same channel has different programmes which does not even think anything about modesty in any way.
If anybody is to blame, it is media as pointed out by PP madam.

Nichiro

[lordstanher]

India, which has now taken moral policing very seriously, is possibly the most double-faced country when it comes to ill-treating women. Our men still tend to behave as though they have never seen a woman before when they confront them in public places.

A very correct point indeed! India's possibly the only country in the world tat worships women as Goddesses in religion yet ironically behaves exactly the opposite w/ them in reality!
In fact, when I was in Sing. one day, a friend of mine told me abt this shocking article he came across on the internet tat said tat majority of men in India, when looking at/talking to women, tend to look at their bosom first, and never or later their faces...regardless of their age or how decently they r dressed!.....this is too pathetic!
And I'm surprised to know tat Mumbai is considered the safest city in India! wat w/ their red-light areas & strong hold of underworld hooligans/int'l crooks!

what has wearing provocative clothing got to do with rape? Look at most working women standing in the bus stops or taking trains in the metros. They don’t wear scanty clothes.......Most educational institutions also do not allow students to dress as they please.

Despite the eternal statement tat girls/women who dress provocatively r the ones who invite harassment/rape, I feel tat its a myth & in most cases is in fact the other way round!
I feel tat most girls/women who r victims of such crimes r actually by & large modest & r very conscious of decency in their attire as well as behaviour......in most cases its they who end up being subjected to such injustice, rather than the so-called provocatively dressed or 'loose' girls/women......
If its true tat dressing provocatively is the main cause for such violence then how come all the elite/high society women (inc. celebrities/film actresses/models) don't refrain from wearing truly revealing or skimpy dresses even in public appearances??
How come film stars (eg. Mallika Sherawat) r able to pass off in our society w/ the excuse "if a woman's body is beautiful, y object to her showing it?" and the moral police refrains from 'correcting' such women, if they r concerned abt sartorial decency?!

It is a scientifically believable fact that different climes make people react differently to sensual enticements. A hotter country like India with the air strong with exotic fragrances men’s senses are easily excited, aroused to desire. So our forefathers wanted to prevent moral chaos consequent to unbridled passion by advocating women to dress with modesty. In order to help men handle the riot of hormones better women were recommended to show responsibility by not dressing provocatively.

Actually I rem. reading in a book long ago tat ne man's sensual desires (regardless of the climes) r aroused mainly by visual bodily display of the opposite sex....tats the way their hormones work, its never the other way round, which is y women normally don't tend to get sensually distracted/aroused by men openly displaying their bodies. Rather they wud look the other way!
Hence I guess our forefathers, who had the foresight to perceive this, and also going by our cultural restraints, originally insisted on women dressing modestly and seldom men.....
In most foreign countries, even tho women hav seldom stuck to such rules from the beginning, they don't face the kind of risk tat women in India do probably bcos men there r already used to such a thing and also bcos of their culture tat gives individuals there an unrestrained social life (ie, most ppl. there hav GFs/BFs/blind dates/casual sex etc.) so IMO, their men's sensual desires apparently don't tend to tide periodically on just looking at women.

The MEDIA is a villain, a serpent under the grass. It corrupts the minds of the present generation which is passing through inevitable lifestyle changes.

Never was a true'r word spoken!
U hav, yet again given a crystal-clear pic. of the harmful effects of the country's current media!
Apart from our movies w/ their blatant display of vulgarity and soft-porn (not to mention telecasting songs from such films in late shows on TV like 'Midnight Masala'....) since more than a decade, another well-disguised culprit is Advertising.
In today's scenario, u find even in advertising a motorbike/car or electronic appliance, they hav to depict a scantily clad woman (who's often wet after a swim) full of lust, even if she's nothing to do w/ the product, to make their brand sell!
This is a pathetic disease tat has long affected the West (who apparently don't curb this despite all their cries for women's rights/justice!) and is now snaking its way into Indian media!
Ironically, women who participate in such ads (& often eventually end up as page 3 models) don't feel tat this is an outrage of their modesty/dignity in ne way or tat they r just being depicted as objects for a brand's commercial gain.....
While on the other hand, they r ready to talk in interviews abt how women r being 'restricted' their rights by our 'obsolete' culture and 'outdated' values etc. etc......

Changes should not make us stray from guidelines judiciously, beneficially drawn out for us by our ancestors.

Wat an unarguably right & wise point indeed! But then, it is upto the few of us to really make a difference (if at all feasible) in the materialistically corrupted present-day society! So whether such a major reform in such a large society can really happen bcos of a few of us is yet to be seen......
I guess tat all tat it takes is sum sense of individual responsibility and sheer determination (undeterred by the dissuading remarks of others in this regard)!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Thanx, lordstanher

[Akash]

I dunno where else to drop this!! any way its just a precausion measures for ladies...

1. Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their cheque book or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the
perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot, or Parking Garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat (and check out under the car as you approach).

B.) If you're parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY (and better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of
unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her Whatever you do, DO NOT open
the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.

The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes
thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

[lordstanher]

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

A good suggestion.....but it also depends on the bodily design of the car.....sum cars don't hav openings behind the tail lights wide enuff to put ur hand thru, which proves to be a disadvantage.......

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

Um...by stairwells, u mean the landing area in the middle of staircases?
Neways, I might add another little tip of my own here- avoid taking the elevator if there's a man or group of men (only) in it & if u r the only woman around......try taking it w/ a varied group of ppl. (esp. w/ other women & maybe evn children).....cos there r chances of a lone man/group of men doing harm if the elevator happens to break down midway!

PS>> I think these tips wud be equally suitable to place in the 'Violence Against women' thread?

[lordstanher]

PP ma'm,
I wished to highlight u on a piece of rather distressing news I came to know from a friend. This is also an exceptional case where the media, which is proving to be a destructive tool, can also be a useful source of the happenings around us- esp. the present gen.!
My friend the other day, was telling me about a documentary he'd recently seen on SONY TV (channel) about call centres in India, and also read about it in India Today.
There was a case where a girl working in a call centre had been gang-raped by 4 of her male colleagues in the centre itself! I've no idea where in India this happened.
And as many of us might know, it also turns out tat the male- as well as female- employees there behave very unprofessionally, claiming tat they r "bored with taking calls/talking all day or night", esp. during the night shift, so they "want to hav fun".......thus many of them browse thru porn sites while working (as they hav access to internet) and even hav sex in the lounges of their centres, during their shifts! Worse still, the girls r now known to take vulgar pics. of themselves in the workplace itself and send them to porn sites very often (they get paid for it). They claim tat all they want is money and they don't care abt "sticking to obsolete culture/values" or wat the society thinks of them!
However, in this scenario, I wonder if the culprit poisoning their minds is sumthing besides the media itself? Cud it be the only reason for this revolt of the present gen. against our normal social values/way of life........?

[pavalamani pragasam]

From today’s “Hindustan Times”:

Delhi teens blame media for bad influence

The national capital’s adolescent population is totally dissatisfied with media influences, revealed a survey conducted by Vimhans. As many as 92 per cent of the 1,240 school children said that they were “confused and dissatisfied” with media influences, especially in the area of promoting obscenity, violence, extramarital affairs and bad role models.

Aged between 14-17 years of age, children were selected at random from both government and private schools and were asked to respond to a range of issues related to mental health, peer group behaviour, family relations etc.

An analysis of the response of these 92 per cent children revealed that almost one third of these children felt that media promoted obscenity, followed by a quarter that said it also promoted violence. “How often does a child get to see a revolver in real life? Compare this to the number of times revolvers are shown in tele-serials. Children notice this,” said Dr.Jitendra Nagpal of Childhood and Adolescent health at Vimhans.

As many as 17 per cent of these children also felt that media propagates negative responses by showing frequent drug abuse, alcohol abuse as well as glamourised those who used these, thereby sending conflicting signals to a very impressionable age group of viewers.

[lordstanher]

PP ma'm,
As always u hav wisely brought to light such informative & thot-provoking articles vis-a-vis today's youth!
Reading it, I actually see a little ray of hope, going by the fact tat the youth in qsn. hav atleast realised early-on, the types of -ve influence today's media is capable of having on their age groups......
I don't intend to sound too optimistic but I daresay this realisation is as important as working towards solving the problem & cud even be a stepping stone to solving the problem.....?
As the saying goes "Any attempt of self-improvement is in vain without self-acceptance".......so its good tat they r learning to accept wat's harmful & can be avoided but still, it is not poss' to totally shut out these -ve influences.......atleast not in the short run, as on the downside of being a democracy, the Govt. simply cannot put a blanket ban over or even curb such issues even if they r proved to be harmful (unlike in the case of China where certain websites/TV channels tat r not approved by the Govt. cannot be accessed thruout the country)......& its not just in media, for eg. there was the case of the unsuccessful "Dry Law" imposed by the then AP CM Chandrababu Naidu, tat was aimed at banning the sale of liqour thruout AP! Altho it was seen as an effective move, it was forced to be lifted within a short time!