A shame

[pavalamani pragasam]

dev, my favourite proverb is 'don't think of the bridges you will never cross'; I am also in favour of choosing best from the 3 options:'varumun kaaththal, vanthapin kaththal, vanthapinnum kaakkaathiruththal'. FYI, one of cousins died leaving his wife a small son. My aunt & uncle, all the widow's in-laws are very kind & well-to-do as also her parents. She was a B.Sc., graduate. She went for medicine, successfully finished her degree, practised successfully in a speciality clinic, educated her to become a doctor who in due time is married. A friend of my father's had the misfortune of losing his very young, childless sil in an accident. The daughter was an arts graduate. She postgraduated & did doctorate, worked in a respectable post in the university, her second marriage was a failure but gave her a daughter whom she has brought up well & got married off standing on her own feet. Another friend of my father also saddened by the demise of his sil. The daughter was not interested in higher studies. Her father set up a tailoring shop for her & she with her tailoring skills employs many girls to make for herself a dignified life. The examples are many. What I want to emphasise is when the need arises women have the grit to face it, brave it. 'Training' is unnecessary!

Let me add: I never consider my hubby as 'another man'!!!!

[joe]

I never consider my hubby as 'another man'!!!!

That should be the way

[Menaka]

app_engine nice posts

pp maam so according to you a woman's life is the four walls called house with a family and she can do anything when needed. Her life is only to look after children and husband doesn't she have her own life? FYI family is NOT everything. you may call yourself more experienced just because you are older than many of us but that is not the truth. We also have faced and have experienced many things you may never have seen. please come out of the four walls and see the world.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Dear Menaka, I never can see my home as a jail within four walls!!! Nor do I remain confined within all the time!!! I am as happy as a bird chirping across the whole sky!

[dev]

dev, my favourite proverb is 'don't think of the bridges you will never cross'; I am also in favour of choosing best from the 3 options:'varumun kaaththal, vanthapin kaththal, vanthapinnum kaakkaathiruththal'. FYI, one of cousins died leaving his wife a small son. My aunt & uncle, all the widow's in-laws are very kind & well-to-do as also her parents. She was a B.Sc., graduate. She went for medicine, successfully finished her degree, practised successfully in a speciality clinic, educated her to become a doctor who in due time is married. A friend of my father's had the misfortune of losing his very young, childless sil in an accident. The daughter was an arts graduate. She postgraduated & did doctorate, worked in a respectable post in the university, her second marriage was a failure but gave her a daughter whom she has brought up well & got married off standing on her own feet. Another friend of my father also saddened by the demise of his sil. The daughter was not interested in higher studies. Her father set up a tailoring shop for her & she with her tailoring skills employs many girls to make for herself a dignified life. The examples are many. What I want to emphasise is when the need arises women have the grit to face it, brave it. 'Training' is unnecessary!

Let me add: I never consider my hubby as 'another man'!!!!

Tht's Y I said opinions,belifs differ based on what we see/experience... Though some learn to make a living after a long struggle, I believe in 'varumun kaathal'... BTW, tailoring skill come within the category of 'skills' I have mentioned in the other post... It's a skill which can be used readily to make money... but still one needs to be trained to master it... for ex: how to ride a bicycle-nu enna thaan book-la padichaalum(cycle-la yaeri ukkandhu, handle-a pidichittu,balance panni, pedalai midichaal cycle ooati palagidalaamnu) we need to get trained to balance on a bicycle...namma yaeri utkaarura appo adhu thannala balance aagadhu... 4 thadavai vilundhu enthirichu thaan adhai kathuppom... so adhai nalla irukkum poadhe katthukiradhu better enbadhu en ennam... already mana kashtatthil irukkumpadhu idhai katthuka vendiya kattayathula vilundhu enthirikiradhungaradhu innum kodumai...

I used the word "another person" coz I wanted to refer to parents as well as husb... when I was unmarried I had the freedom to spend my parents hard-earned money... & now I have the freedom to spend wht my husb earns... My vocab is very limited tht I couldn't find any other suitable word there though my intention was not to refer to my husb as 'another man'... :P

[pavalamani pragasam]

How long does it take learn bicycling? How many weeks to learn tailoring?

[Lambretta]

[app_engine:

IMO, women need to learn atleast one money-making skill...be it a job or home based small business or other skills...In this fast world, you never know what will happen to the bread-winner(husb) the very next moment... Incase of any mishap, like physical disability or illness or death, she needs to be prepared to take the role of the bread-winner... aprom aludhu polambittu irukiradhula use illai... It's a basic survival skill... Not every woman has support from parents/relatives,monetary or otherwise... & even if they are supportive, better we be prepared for the worse... whatever happens, life will go on...

It neednt be only a job or career! There R other oppurtunities open as well, u jus need to tap the right one.

college degree alone doesn't always give a person enough confidence...I know of enough home-makers who are well educated but are not confident enough to even go to a bank or make a bill payment or talk to an insurance guy or go to a service centre or do such other basic things on their own... Women going for work/doing business(atleast for a short period of time) definitely helps them learn social skills faster & gives them the confidence that they can survive on their own...

True but Ive noticed tat even many women who go for jobs (am taking job as a common eg. bcos it is seen as sumthing very rosy by many ) lack many public-speaking/socialising skills, infact I'd say in most jobs these things cudnt be learnt anyways, as its as much sitting within 4 walls as sitting at home is (talking bout the common office-type jobs!)

And that confidence shouldn't be 'kuruttu dhairiyam'...

Abbidina enna?

[Lambretta]

I was once told by a doc tat women working in careers with odd-timings/overtime (common eg. nowadays IT/SW//BPOs) tend to suffer the most physically/mentally as women undergo mood swings due to their bodily cycles therefore working at such timings/stressful conditions tend to aggrevate their challenges.
Of course there r jobs tat r far more favourable to women. In the past women who did work took up jobs tat were mainly 'easy-going' & fixed timings. Few turned out to be in more demanding, high-profile professional careers.

My belief is career women are more prone to stress & depression than women at home! They age faster, suffer more physical ailments! How dependable are your statistics if there are any?

Well, most women that I personally know of who has suffered some form of severe depression happens to be a middle aged, home maker. (If not a regular homemaker, someone who was at that time without a job and at home). FYI, I serve in a voluntary org that deals with a lot of people, apart from my regular full-time job.

That's why I said it's a personal observation. Again, I'm not for or against the "chemical imbalance theory" for depression. There are any number of theories stating the cause for depression. However, one of the common therapy methods is to ask people to engage in "meaningful activity", which could be severely lacking in the case of someone who could be idling at home (that leads to paranoid situations, for e.g.).

I'm willing to change my opinion if there are medical stats otherwise.

[dev]

How long does it take learn bicycling? How many weeks to learn tailoring?

katthu paarunga... theriyum... that too when u are already down due to some incident & are thru a difficult phase... Oru oru thadavai vilundhu enthitirikkum podhum athoda vali pala madanga theriyum!!!...BTW, how many here do you think would like to get their clothes stitched by an inexperienced tailor...There's a diff between becoming a 'tailor' & a 'good/skilled tailor'... esp for skill based work, experience does make a diff...

When we have an option to learn now, why wait until we are forced to...tht's my opinion... adhu evalo naal aagum,evalo easy-a irukkum,illai kashttama irukkum appadingaradhu ellam oru orutharukkum maaru padum...

[dev]

[
It neednt be only a job or career! There R other oppurtunities open as well, u jus need to tap the right one.

And that confidence shouldn't be 'kuruttu dhairiyam'...

Abbidina enna?

Yes... it can even be ur hobby...just specialise in it... even if u r not using it to make money now, it might be helpful during rough times...

Kuruttu dhairiyam.... hmmm... it's the kind of confidence tht we have when we pass out of college... We think we can do anything & everything in this world without even realising what our strengths & weaknesses are...