newbie's poem

[venkat_ram_amir]

Hi All,

I am a newbie to the forum as well as writing poems. Here is my first poem. Review and give your comments.

Situation: A guy is just visualizing his lover and singing this..

«ý¨É¨Â ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý «ýÀ¢É¢§Ä
¬½Åò¨¾ ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý «Æ¸¢É¢§Ä
þÉ¢¨Á¨Â ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý þ¾ú¸Ç¢§Ä
®ðʨ ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý ®Ãì¸ñ½¢§Ä

¯ñ¨Á¨Â ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý ¯ûÇò¾¢§Ä
°¼¨Ä ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý ÀÕÅò¾¢§Ä
±Ç¢¨Á¨Â ¸ñ§¼ý ¯ý þ¨¼Â¢É¢§Ä
²ì¸ò¨¾ ¸ñ§¼ý ±ý þǨÁ¢§Ä

[RR]

³Â¡, «ÆÌ ¯í¸û ¸Å¢¨¾Â¢§Ä..!

[Sudhaama]

Female-Lover's Reply:

Å¡í¸ ³Â¡ ¬ñ «Æ¸¡ ¯¸ó¾ ¸¡¾Ä¨Éò §¾Î¸¢§Èý
¿£í¸ ¦º¡ýÉ ¾Ì¾¢ ±øÄ¡õ ±ÉìÌ þÕìÌ ±ôÀÊ? ±ýÉ?
²í¸¢ì ¸¢¼ìÌõ ¿¡§É «¦Áâì¸ò ¾Á¢ÆÅû ¦ÀüÈ Á¸û
À¡íÌ ÀñÀ¡ô §ÀîÍ ¯ó¾ý §¸ðÎò¾¡ý §Á¸Å¢Î ৾¡?

§Á¸Å¢Î àÐ «ó¾ì¸¡Äõ ±É ¿¡ý ¿¢¨Éì¸Ä¡§Á¡ ?
¾¡¸õ ¾£÷ìÌõ ¸¡¾ø ¦¿È¢ º¢ÃﺣŢ ¾Á¢Æ÷ «¸-¿¡ëÚ
§Á¡¸õ §ÁÅ þǨÁ ÐûÙõ ±ý ÅÂÐ ¦º¡ø§Å§É¡?
§Å¸õ ¸¡Äõ ¬É¡Öõ ¸¡¾ø ±ýÚõ ŠÅ£ðÎ ±ý ÅÂÐ !!

[malligai]

Venkat,

neenga first attempt-la pass aayiteenga..good...

but kavidhai enavo end aagadha maathiri oru feeling..just an opinion, ok...neraya eludhunga...

[malligai]

Sudhaama,

[venkat_ram_amir]

Sudhamma,

±ÉìÌ ¸ø¡½õ ¬Â¢ÎîÍ!!!
±ý À¡¼Ä¢ø ²¾¡ÅÐ ¾ôÒ þÕó¾¢îÍýÉ¡ ¦º¡øÖí¸...

need your comments...

[Sudhaama]

"«ô" À¡öóÐ ÀÈóÐ ÅóÐ «ýÀ¡ö «¨½ò¾¢ÎÅ¡ö
†ô-¨À§Â ¿õÀ¢É§É §Á¸§Á à¾Å¨Ç
ºô-¦ÀýÚ ºÎ¾¢Â¢§Ä º¸¾¢Â¢§Ä ¾ûǢŢð¼¡ö
¾ô¦ÀýÉ ¿¡ý ¦ºö§¾ý ¾Ã½¢Â¢§Ä ¸¡¾ø þ§¾¡?

¸¡¾§Ä¡? §Åí¸¼ áÁ «Á£÷ ÁýÉý ¦ÀÂ÷ ¸ñÎ
à¾Å¨Ç «ÛôÀ¢É§É «¦Áâì¸ò ¾Á¢úô §À¨¾
Á¡¾Å¨Ç ¦ÅÚí¨¸Â¡ö ¾¢ÕôÀ¢É§Â Å£ñ §À¡?
²¾üÌ ¸¡¾ø À¢¾üÈ¢¨É§Â¡ ¦¸¡ñ¼ÅÙ째 §Á¡ºõ?

§Á¡ºõ ¦ºö ¬ñ ÌħÁ ¦Àñ ±ýÈ¡ø §À¨¾Â§Ã¡?
§Åºõ §À¡ðÎ ±õ¨Á ²Á¡üȢ ¸¡Äõ §À¡§Â §À¡ö
§¾ºõ Å¢ðÎ §¾ºõ Å¡úóÐ À¡÷òÐô Òâ󧾡§Á
§Ã¡ºõ ¦¸¡ñ¼ ¦Àñ½¢É§Á ¯õ¨Áî ÍõÁ¡ Å¢¼¡Ð

Å¢¼¡Ð À¢ÊòÐ ¯ý¨Éì §¸ûÅ¢ §¸ð¸ ¿¡ý ÅÕ§Åý
«¼¡Ð §Àº¢ÊÛõ ±¾¢÷òРţº¢Îõ ÒШÁô¦Àñ ¿¡§É
«¼¡Ð ¯ý ¿õÀ¢ì¨¸ Чá¸õ Á¨ÉÅ¢ìÌõ ±ÉìÌõ
¦¸¼¡Ð Å¡úóÐ ÅÕõ à ¾Á¢úô¦Àñ ¿¡ý "«ô"-À¡÷ !!

[Kathir9999]

hi venkat.. enna ippadi thideernu pottu udaichitteenga! sari vidunga.. unga kavidhai muyarci nalam. that too, thamiz ezuththukkalil.. indha hub engira kutrala aruviyil kuzippatharku ododi vandha engalai yematradheergal, ezuhdunga venkat, ezudhunga!