Ugly face of Indian feminism

app_engine · Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:34 pm Post subject: Ugly face of Indian feminism

I was shocked to read this news report that Gov is considering major changes to the law that punishes the husband (& his family) if the wife complains about harassment.

http://www.dinamalar.com/fpnnewsdetail.asp?news_id=5660

It seems > 50% of the complaints are simply to harass the husband / in-laws and not for the original purpose which was to protect women from violence (due to dowry and other reasons).

pavalamani pragasam · Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:32 pm Post subject:

Looks like the time has come for suppression of men!!! Tables turned against the arrogant, adamant, chauvnistic 'stronger' sex! Both situations unfair!!! Can't we find a golden mean? Rolling Eyes

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Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

Punnaimaran · Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:31 am Post subject:

The sad thing is that most of the women who are really being abused by the husband/in-laws do not register complaints. They would either suffer in private (particularly if they have children) or go to their parents(if well to do). In most cases, even if the parents ask the daughter to register a complaint, she is not willing to do so. Also in most of the joint families, the problem is between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. The husband is the sufferer ultimately.
A stricter or a lenient law will not change the situation, unless the husband/in-laws feel that the girl is a member of their family and the daughter-in-law feels that she is a member of the family.
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pavalamani pragasam · Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:52 am Post subject:

Yes, a change in the mindsets of both men and women, both young and old is necessary for any real improvement in the situation.
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suba · Regular Hubber Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 103

i am surprised on app's shock....

we have all the laws for protection but the MISUSE of the laws is the one which should be clutched on.

it is not only happening in matrimony issue or dowry issue or whatever.

policemen play the vital role in this.

if a girl or her family go to the police station seeking for a protection, immediately policemen suggest/advise/force them to go for a dowry harassment case which immediately gives them the power to arrest a handful number of people.

then police themselves would do some katta panchayats and fill in their pockets.

fake are the cases filed in most of the police station to achieve their official target and to fill in their pockets.

nothing new in 498A Huh?!

app_engine · Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:33 pm Post subject:

suba,

Misuse of law in itself is not shocking to me (though theoritically it should be) Sad

We hear about it in general all the time and I myself have witnessed police abuse on a number of cases in India.

It's in the context of family - which is kind of a cultural shock, more than law abuse shock, to me. Shows India is fast becoming like west.

Actually, I've heard / read tons of such stories here in the west. There's even an org called "ADAM" which advertises often here in Michigan on radio, and they are supposed to give legal help to husbands in "minimizing the adverse divorce impacts". Or for that matter, the increase in "living-together" rather than getting legally married, to avoid the huge financial / legal burdens associated with divorce etc.

However, as all the time I come across couples here who go like "this-is-my-3rd-wife-and-I'm-her-3rd-husband" kind, I won't be surprised or shocked in any such sueing with bad intentions HERE.

OTOH, India is (or was?) supposed to be a place where family institution is strong, people won't drag family members wrongly into police station / court etc...so I thought.

That's why the surprise Smile

pavalamani pragasam · Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:50 am Post subject:

Same is my concern too! Sad

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Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

Badri · Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:55 pm Post subject:

In the end, it is values that hold the society together, not law! This is a clear proof of that!

As app_engine says, India was supposed to be the place where the institution of the family was strong, bound by ties of love and mutual respect. If those values are degraded, then law will become an ugly demon, instead of the policeman that it should be!
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pavalamani pragasam · Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:28 pm Post subject:

An old MGR song comes to my memory- thirudanaa paarththu thirunthaavittaa thiruttai ozikka mudiyaathu.
Laws are rather useless, ineffective- people's way of thinking/acting must change voluntarily.
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Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

suba · Regular Hubber Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 103

App,

You were right in your brackets. Smile

OTOH, India is (or was?) supposed to be a place where family institution is strong, people won't drag family members wrongly into police station / court etc...so I thought.

India was supposed to be....

anyway... you say that in your place girls themselves sue their husbands by filing a fake case....

but here it is not the girl or her family intend to do it. they would just approach police for their protection and it is the police who lead them to sue their husbands. thats what i meant here.

saatharana oru sappai matterai namma kaavalargal ooooothi, pirachanaiye illaatha oru vishayathai perisaaki, kadaisiyil divorcela mudiyum.

if you ask those couple what was the core reason to divorce i really doubt if they could give a valid reason.

most of the time the reasons would be :

veetuku late-a varraar, pullaigalai kavanikka maatengaraar, veliyila kootitu poga maatengaraar, thani kudithanam vaika maatengaraar, veetoda maapillaiya vara maatengaraar, amma veetuku anupi vaika maatengaraar.... etc.....

ithukku 498A-va? kodumai.....

i wonder why girls never go against their husband for the following reasons:

lanjam vaagaraar, oorai aemaatharaar, businessla fraud pannaraar, black money vachu irukkaar etc....

naatula ella aambalaingalum rommmmmmbbbaaa nallavanga pola irukku..... Laughing

Bala (Karthik) · Seasoned Hubber Joined: 09 Sep 2009 Posts: 1657

suba · Regular Hubber Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 103

blahblah · Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:02 am Post subject:

pavalamani pragasam · Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:20 am Post subject:

Glad to hear from you, blahblah! Yes, fortunately it is a minuscule minority of the fair sex that is dangerously posing a serious problem to the health of society. But with the fare catered in both small and big screens how long is it going to be a minuscule minority? Shaking With Fear

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Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values.

Lambretta · Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:48 am Post subject: